KATHLEEN WILEY
Meditations

Acts 3:1–10, Move Out Of Inertia Verses 6–7: “And Peter said, ‘I have no silver or gold; but what I have I give you; in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.’ Then he grasped him by the right hand and pulled him up; at once his feet and ankles grew strong; he sprang up, stood on his feet, and started to walk.” The lame man represents parts of us caught in inertia, the places we’re stuck. Being stuck may show up as depression, confusion, not knowing, destructive habits, or any feeling state that immobilizes or paralyzes us. Inertia keeps us from taking actions or making desired changes. When we are caught in these states of consciousness, we are wise to sit at the Temple gate—the inner still point where we are one with God—and beg for help. When truly caught in paralysis, we need to call for the Mystery to come and pull us out of it. Peter, a symbol of the part of us that has already been transformed and filled with the power, wisdom, and love of our Self/God Within, our soul, comes and offers a hand. We have to reach for it and to take it. “Peter” may show up as an impulse to take an action, a small involuntary movement of the muscles (i.e., relaxing, tensing), a different thought that begins to energize. We must grasp it, so its energy can pull us forward, out of the inertia. Our soul, our Divine Essence, wants that for us. Inner Reflection Sit at the Beautiful Gate—the innermost sanctuary in your soul—where you know you are one with God. Ask for the inner “Peter” to pull you out of the inertia stopping you from living the truth of your Divine Spirit.

Acts 2:4 and 1 Corinthians 12:11, Your Voice Acts 2:1–21, Verse 4: “All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.” 1 Corinthians 12:4–13, Verse 11: “All these (gifts, service, working) are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines. How we doubt our inner voice and dismiss ourselves! Yet, it is the stirrings of God Within that speak to us in our innermost self. Our yearnings, desires, abilities, felt senses, and movements are conveyors of the Self/God Within. They hold “our voice” that conveys the truth of who we are and our “tongue” that holds the spirit of our true selves. The Holy Spirit gives each of us the clarity and knowing of our own voice as we seek to discern what is us and what is “not us.” The referenced scriptures remind us that the Divine gives each of us gifts, including our “tongue”—our way of speaking, our voice. The early Christians knew the power of the Voice of God Within. Their experience with Christ directly, or indirectly, ignited the strength and connection to the silent voice of God Within. They knew from their felt experience what was true for them. This knowing gave them the ability to stand outside of the tradition and religious beliefs of the day. The same knowing is available to us. We must claim the value of our inner process and the language of our heart and soul. We have to listen to what goes on inside us with an ear to discerning our heart’s truth and recognizing the internalized voices of others. As we listen with discernment, we begin to know our larger authentic core Self. We move from being identified with our roles and ego/self to feel our largess as an embodied Divine Spirit. We are so much bigger than any one thought, feeling, or action we have. The voices around us often drown out our voice. The other voices can be authority figures such as parents, siblings, teachers, ministers, the latest self-help author, etc. The others can also be internalized voices repeating what people around us say or have said. We think their words are ours in spite of a niggling feeling that something is not right. Sometimes, we have forgotten who we are, what our felt experience is, and what our truth is. Other times, we hear the screaming voice of the Self/God Within, but we don’t listen. Either way, we bail on ourselves when we let others speak for us. Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to reflect on your conscious relationship to your Inner Divine Voice. What are you hearing? What are you resisting hearing? Are you listening to others over your Self? How and where is the Self/God Within leading you? Ask for clarity and strength to hear and follow your true voice—the voice of God Within. Part 2, Identifying Shame and Guilt The shame and guilt of being different and separate from others are part of what interferes with our hearing, believing, and trusting God Within. As we mediate these feelings (by connecting them to the whole of who we are), the feelings become bearable. We begin to know what/who we are, and what/who we are not. We feel the value of our self/ego related to our Self/God Within. Inner Reflection Where do shame and guilt stop you from hearing and valuing your inner voice? Where do you know and feel your value? Ask God Within to help you stay connected to your truth in the face of shame and guilt. Begin to claim and follow the voice of your heart and soul.

Acts 4:32–5:11, Equality in the Economy of Psyche Verse 4:32: “Not a man of them claimed any of his possessions as his own, but everything was held in common, while the apostles bore witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. They were held in high esteem for they never had a needy person among them.” Let’s consider the meaning of this scripture for the inner world of psyche. We know from daily experience that we possess a varied array of affects/feelings, emotions, perceptions, sensations, images, thoughts, etc. We can feel volleyed between competing desires, opposing emotions, discordant thoughts, and conflicting images/daydreams. If we consider each of these as a “person” (or character) in our psyche, the scripture tells us that the psychic energy (libido) within the desire, emotion, thought, or image belongs to the whole economy of the psyche. It is there to serve the common good of our being. We have been trained to dismiss, repress, ignore, and demonize a variety of affects. Emotions such as enjoyment, excitement, and surprise may be welcomed in relationships. But other emotions, such as distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust, and repulsion, often meet with disapproval. We learn to disown and deny our feelings. When this happens, our feelings own us instead of us possessing our feelings. We all have had experiences of being carried away by our feelings. Something happens and we find ourselves consumed, taken over by anger, or fear, or repulsion. We were having a good day, then “this” happened. The “this” may be an unpleasant exchange with a spouse or coworker, getting delayed in traffic, receiving an unexpected bill, etc. The “this” activates an affect/feeling and we are pulled off center. We suddenly are “beside ourselves.” The apostles knew the transformative power of bringing all we have to the community. Internally, a part of us knows the value of possessing each of our feelings (and the resulting emotions, perceptions, images, etc.) and using it for the highest good of our whole Self. We need the psychic energy within each emotional state to live the fullness of our soul. God Within flows through each of those internal energy states. Our anger is God Within letting us know that we need to make a change. Too often, our ego/self uses anger to attack someone else. The anger is the psychic fuel we need to take a different action. Disgust is an emotion that lets us know we are not attracted to something. It doesn’t mean the object (food, place, or person) is wrong. It is information about our psyche. We get off track when we attribute the source of our affects/feelings to other people and the outer world. When we realize feeling originate within, we practice what the early Christian community did. We bring the possession, the affect/feeling (and its extensions), to God Within. We open to how we can use the energy for the highest good of our psyche/soul. When we do this, our actions in the outer world will also serve the highest good. We have to be conscious in order to possess our feelings. When we are unconscious or unaware, the feelings rule and we act in service of the one affect versus the whole of we are. We create all kinds of problems for ourselves internally and in our relationships when we withhold from ourselves. We need to offer our possessions of feelings to God Within. Then, the energies can be used for the common good of our whole self. Inner Reflection On a sheet of paper, list the following affects/feelings: joy, surprise, excitement, distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust, and repulsion. Where do you deny those feelings? Where do you indulge them? Where do you act out of one feeling to the detriment of God Within and others? Dialogue with each affect as it arises and take it to God Within for guidance on how it can serve the whole of psyche/soul. Act accordingly.

Colossians 3:1–11, 12–17, Love Unites Verse 14, “To crown all, there must be love, to bind all together and to complete the whole.” The song “Love Came Down at Christmas” keeps going through my head this morning. The words came during meditation on images of the “Fountain of Love,” “Stream of Love,” and “Eternal Dancer.” I had randomly pulled the images in response to asking, “What does an unyielding, heavy energy in my psyche want me to know?” I felt this energy soften as I compassionately listened to its needs through the images I’d drawn. I imagined a stream of love flowing through me from the larger fountain of the Self or Christ. I relaxed into the eternal dance as I listened deeply to the waters of my psyche/soul. I dialogued with the stagnant energy to transcend my ego’s aggravation with it. The paradox is that dropping into the stream of love allows the ego to loosen its agenda. This makes room for the need of the previously unconscious (in this case, stagnant) energy. The seemingly opposing energies begin to hear what each needed in the presence of love. My contemplation practiced the qualities of love Erich Fromm shares in The Art of Loving: giving, care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. Giving myself time to care for the wayward energy allowed me to be responsible for the need it communicated. I showed respect of the new self-knowledge by acting on it. Fromm’s book inspires me to practice the art of loving, towards myself and others, instead of waiting for love to magically arrive. I keep a list of the qualities of love in my planner as a daily reminder that love unites. Inner Reflection and Outer Action I invite you to practice the art of loving with yourself today. Take space to focus on your inner world and to listen for your psyche’s needs. Let Fromm’s qualities of love shape your presence with the energetic states you discover.

1 Corinthians 1:18–31, The Power Of the Mundane Verses 28, 30b: “He has chosen things low and contemptible, mere nothings, to overthrow the existing order. And so there is no place for human pride in the presence of God…(in Christ Jesus) we are consecrated and set free.” How many times have unanticipated feelings or moods triggered by the outer world sabotaged our plans for ourselves and how we move through the day? It’s usually a little thing that throws us off kilter. Something or someone interferes with our plans, we get sidetracked, we misplace something important, etc. We may even say to ourselves or someone else, “It’s nothing. No big deal.” Yet, feelings of frustration, annoyance, self-ridicule, or inadequacy kick in and we feel flustered. In retrospect, the triggering event may seem minor, yet in the moment, we lose our balance and sometimes our self. We (with our ego) think if we dismiss or overlook something, whatever we have felt or experienced will go away. The perceptions sensed in our psyche-soma (soul-body) may retreat from consciousness, but they do not leave the body-mind. To clear what we experience in our psyche-soma, we have to relate to the experience consciously. When we own our body-mind experiences, including the fleeting sensations, perceptions, and fantasies, they are integrated into our ego/self and tempered by all the other experiences of our lifetime. In this way, a singular experience (or series of similar experiences) loses its power to take us over. This scripture reminds us the “things low and contemptible, mere nothings” are what can “overthrow the existing order.” Symbolically and from the perspective of Jungian Psychology, the “existing order” represents the ego. The ego is formed from our felt experiences (sense-perceptions) and perceptions that are, or can be made, conscious. Conscious means having an awareness experienced in the body and mind. It’s not just a head or intellectual knowing! The ego is the sense of self we have about who we are. With our ego, we interface between our inner world and the outer world (people, objects, tasks, nature, etc.) Our ego tends to filter out any sense perceptions (felt experiences) not compatible or congruent with our sense of self. What’s filtered out becomes the symbolic “things low and contemptible, mere nothings” that have the power to overthrow our ego. These things are the body-mind sensations, emotions, and perceptions we have dismissed or overlooked. In a moment’s flash, we deemed them unacceptable, undesirable, or unimportant. But they stay in the unconscious psyche-soma (soul-body) waiting for an opportunity to be acknowledged and related to. They show up in unbidden and undesired moods, affects, impulses, fantasies, and/or behaviors. We can mitigate their negative effects as we build a conscious relationship to them. Our ego can be prideful; we think, speak, and act as if we (ego) were in charge of our body-mind. It only takes a simple cold virus or an unexpected, unshakeable mood to prove us wrong. The power we (with our ego) consciously have lies in the ability to focus and relate intentionally. When we are intentional about receiving and relating to what goes on inside of us, the bits of self caught in the feeling states begin to be integrated. We are “consecrated”—made holy—made whole. We are freed from the oppressive, self-negating effects of our experiences. Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to reflect on your sense of wholeness and freedom in being you. With gratitude, acknowledge the integrating and clearing of past hurtful, limiting experiences. Feel the power of relating to all the bits (emotions, feelings, fantasies, thoughts, sensations, perceptions, etc.) of your inner world. Be in dialogue with any negative felt experiences and moods that haunt and thwart you. Affirm the presence of the Self/God Within that holds you together as your ego struggles to relate consciously to the “lowly and contemptible.” Remember the power of relating!

1 Corinthians 2:14–3:15, Spiritual Discernment Verse 14: “The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.” Having eyes to see and ears to hear… Great spiritual masters remind us that we must have abilities beyond the physical senses to discern spiritual truths. Our ego consciousness, due to its limitation, can make us think we know all that is. Our ego’s view or experiences trap us, and we dismiss what we don’t understand or cannot literally see and touch. We have inner promptings and moments of clarity that we “reason away.” Every time we do this, we thwart the movement of God Within. The Self/God Within speaks to us through our body and through numinous experiences (i.e., “the still small voice of God,” the Voice of Silence). Subtle body sensations and intuitions are the Spirit moving in us. We can have real moments of knowing that are not rationally explainable where we feel the Self’s presence and movement. We often lose these moments when other people pooh-pooh them, or we dismiss them because they are not in sync with our sense of what is. Our desire to fit in, to belong with a group or community, predisposes us to give up our experience when it is different from others. We hold onto to collective established ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. We live and make choices according to what the outside world and authorities say is right. The collective consciousness becomes our guide. However, when we pay attention to and follow the outside world’s opinions, we ignore our larger consciousness, the Self/God Within. Whether these opinions come from our family, church, school, media, science, medicine, government, etc., they separate us from the Spirit of God when they do not support the “still, small voice of God Within.” Developing and strengthening a conscious (known) line of communication between our sense of self/ego and the Self/God Within is how we begin to know and intentionally access our spiritual senses. We have to develop the muscle of discernment to know the difference between God Within and the adopted spirit of the world. In doing so, we have to withstand the input of others who call us foolish or who shame us. We have to risk trusting our self/Self over trusting others. Inner Reflection Where are you struggling to listen to God Within? What blocks you from hearing and acting on what you know from the still, small voice of God Within? Take a few minutes to center yourself by following your breath. Invite all the lost parts of you to take their rightful place within your body and mind. Feel the strength of your self in conscious connection to the Self/God Within. Let this inform you in how to move through the day. Note Consciousness, in the esoteric spiritual tradition, extends beyond ego consciousness to include subconsciousness or body consciousness/felt knowing and transcendent/archetypal consciousness. Analytical psychology refers to these aspects of consciousness as the personal unconscious and the collective unconscious.

1 Corinthians 3:16–23, God Within Verse 16: “Surely you know that you are God’s temple, where the Spirit of God dwells.” Pause and reflect on the import of this Scripture. The Spirit of God lives within us, in our body-mind. We do not have to look outside of ourselves for the Divine. We need only to look at the inner workings of our body-mind. Carl Jung wrote, “If we really knew, the body and the mind are different densities of the same energy.” The energy is the Spirit of God we know as our Inner Divine Spirit. It is the psychic energy that takes form even in our DNA. I was once in the company of a pathologist who had become a Jungian Analyst. He shared research that substantiates the connection between DNA removed from the body and secluded in a laboratory test tube and the person’s body-mind, even when the two are separated by 200 miles. The DNA responds to the shift in the person’s state of consciousness (emotions and sensations) although separated from the body by great distance. The connection is the Mystery of life, the Divine Spirit that manifests in us, and is not subject to laws of time and space. We all have had experiences that separated us from knowing the Spirit within us. Early experiences where our innate, instinctive sensibility was denied, dismissed, or violated set up mistrust in our embodied experience. When we moved according to our internal prompts, we may have encountered shame and guilt because our autonomy and initiative were not in sync with those around us. The tempering of our instinctive self is a necessary part of the human experience. It is when the tempering squashes and stifles rather than balancing that problems occur. Inner Reflection Consider your relationship to yourself as God’s temple. How do you tend your body-mind? How do you track the connections between your ego/conscious self and the body responses that come from the unconscious? Begin to greet each sensation, emotion, intuition, thought, and feeling as an expression of your Inner Divine Spirit. Where are the distortions from the past interfering with your Oneness with the Inner Divine? Meditate on the Scripture above to feel into your value and importance as an embodiment of God.

1 Corinthians 6:12–20, Our Body, Christ’s Body, Part 1 Verses 12, 13b: “‘I am free to do anything,’ you say. Yes, but not everything is for my good…But it is not true that the body is for lust; it is for the Lord—and the Lord for the body.” The human body has been demeaned and considered the enemy of God throughout the ages. Our culture still suffers from the splitting apart of our bodies and God Within. Yet, the scripture tells us that our body is “for the Lord—and the Lord for the body.” They go together; they form a whole. We are called to a higher consciousness, a consciousness that recognizes that our bodies’ and God Within belong to one another. Our body is the temple through which God’s will makes itself known to us. Our impulses, the energies that prompt us from within to act, are “for the Lord.” What a different view from much of mainstream Christianity! Our bodies, with all our contents, processes, and intelligences, are an expression of God. Our spiritual path begins in learning how to be with, relate to, and move with our bodily desires and impulses in a way that honors the totality of who we are and God Within. Carl Jung writes that our impulses need to be regarded as “absolutes which one must learn how to handle correctly.” (CW, Vol. 9ii, par.51) We need guidance and direction on how to honor our bodily impulses as connected to the totality of our psyche and God Within. Honoring and expressing consciously is different from repressing and denying. Honoring means relating to in a way that values and finds right placement of the energies. For instance, right placement of our instinctive physical hunger is eating food; right placement of our emotional hunger is being present with another. When we repress or deny an instinctive impulse and do not act for its satisfaction, it will find an outlet somewhere else. Displaced energies fuel the excesses of gluttony, hypocrisy, bigotry, and tyranny. The basis of lust is seeking the wrong object. We want something to satisfy a craving or urge, but the thing we want is not what is needed. It may momentarily gratify an impulse, but it doesn’t satisfy the longing or desire of our soul. Any time we’ve been gripped by gluttony, hypocrisy, bigotry, or tyranny, we have had the experience of fleeting gratification, but no satisfaction of our soul. Satisfaction lasts, gratification disappears immediately. Thus, “we can never really get enough of what we don’t need.” Our bodily impulses need satisfying, not gratifying. This scripture points to our need for discernment in how we express our impulses. The writer says, “I am free to do anything…but not everything is for my good.” We have to know the differences between gratifying and satisfying our impulses. Satisfying our impulses is a life giving and life-sustaining act; gratifying our impulses yields a lack of human relatedness to self and other. Discernment is profound judgment that comes from seeing distinct differences. It is the ability to discriminate, to see nuances of separation and uniqueness. Discrimination is a psychological and spiritual muscle that gets stronger every time we act on what we know in our hearts. When we relate to our impulses as expressions of God Within, we open to see the needed movement towards satisfaction of the desire. We have within us the knowing of how our impulses can be satisfied in a way that honors the totality of psyche/soul. We find a conscious connection to the knowing by remembering that our body and God Within belong to one another. Inner Reflection Imagine consciously tending the instincts and impulses you experience. What impulses get pushed aside only to gain more momentum as they are split from the whole you? Where do you go for the gratification of your impulses of hunger, sexuality, movement, self-reflection, and creativity? Where and how do you satisfy these impulses in life-giving ways that honor your psyche/soul? Set sacred intention to consciously discern the presence of God Within in all your impulses.

1 Corinthians 6:12–20, Our Body, Christ’s Body, Part 2 Verses 12, 13b, 15: “‘I am free to do anything,’ you say. Yes, but not everything is for my good…But it is not true that the body is for lust; it is for the Lord—and the Lord for the body…Do you not know that your bodies are limbs and organs of Christ?” Our body, as well as our spirit, belongs to God. We, with our bodies, need to be healthy and whole for the body of Christ to be healthy and whole. The scripture reminds us that our physical parts, our limbs and organs, are expressions of Christ. The functions and impulses of all aspects of our body are conduits through which God Within flows. We relate to Christ as we tend to our bodily impulses. As we can consciously relate to each as a messenger of God Within, we move towards wholeness. We have all learned ways of responding to our bodies that are destructive to our self and our relationship to God Within. The emotions that prompt our behaviors are often learned responses to the basic instincts of hunger, sexuality, movement, self-reflection, and creativity. These instincts are always at work producing impulses in our bodies. I want us to reflect on the instincts as an expression of God Within. As we consider each, I invite you to clear an inner space for imagining the impulses as servants of your soul. We’ll begin with hunger. Hunger immediately brings to mind our need or desire to eat. We think about physical hunger, our appetite, and our cravings. Cravings extend beyond the physical realm to the emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies. Emotional hunger craves feelings of safety, love and belonging, and self-esteem. Mental hunger craves stimulation of the intellect. It creates an appetite for understanding and knowledge. Spiritual hunger longs for knowing the great Mystery of God and others. It wants our soul’s desires to be realized. All of these hungers need satisfying. Our sexual instinct prompts us to yearn for oneness with another person, our self, and God Within. Our bodies yearn for sexual intercourse that reminds us (on a cellular level) of being one with our mother when in her womb. We also crave this feeling of oneness in relationship to God. The sexual energies are the regenerative energies that keep our bodies alive. Relating to the desire for oneness beyond the literal physical desire for sexual intercourse opens us to the regenerative capacities of our body-mind. We can then use the energies to seek wholeness that comes as we consciously unite with all aspects of our self. Sexual or regenerative energy fuels all experiences of oneness—the mystical and physical unions. We live the knowing of “the body is for the Lord…and the Lord for the body” with our sexual impulses as the catalyst for seeking union with God Within. Our spiritual hunger directs the energies towards God Within. When we relate to the impulses of hunger and sexuality as part of the body of Christ, we move towards conscious alignment between our ego and God Within. We become more whole. Inner Reflection Ask yourself the following questions: What are the foods that really satisfy my taste buds, enliven my body, energize my organs, and sustain my body-mind? What are the experiences that nourish me emotionally? How do I give myself a sense of safety, love and belonging, and self-esteem? What mental experiences stimulate my intellect? What helps me make sense of my body and mind as a whole? What spiritual practices strengthen my heart connection to God Within and to other people? How do I relate to my sexuality? Is my attitude one of respect and awe for the regeneration powers in the sexual instinct or do I demean them? Are my yearnings for oneness relegated to the literal act of coitus only? Do I honor the desire for union with God Within in my actions? How do I use touch and affection to express my care, concern, and love for myself or another? Affirm your instincts as expressions of God Within. Ask God Within to show you how to act on your impulses in ways that honor the whole of who you are and God Within.

1 Corinthians 6:12–20, Our Body, Christ’s Body, Part 3 Verses 12, 13b, 15: “‘I am free to do anything,’ you say. Yes, but not everything is for my good…But it is not true that the body is for lust; it is for the Lord—and the Lord for the body…Do you not know that your bodies are limbs and organs of Christ?” This scripture gives us a clear statement of the value and worthiness of our bodies—“(they) are limbs and organs of Christ.” Our response to the impulses and desires of our bodies is our response to God Within. All that goes on in our bodies is an expression of God Within. We are exploring the instincts of hunger, sexuality, movement, self-reflection, and creativity as our desires and impulses are rooted in these instincts. We reflected on hunger and sexuality in part 2. Now, we’ll consider movement, self-reflection, and creativity. Movement is the drive to activity. We experience impulses to act, to initiate, and to go for what we need and want. Restlessness, the urge to travel, play, and a love of change are manifestations of the drive to activity. Our cellular beings are energized with the urge to move by the life force, the Breath of God, flowing through us. The flow of our life force is thwarted where we feel blocked, stuck, inert, or passive. If the instinctive energies do not flow outward into activity, they can turn inward and show up as depression, self-sabotaging behaviors, or dis-eases. Our drive to activity is God Within moving in the world. The reflective instinct gives rise to consciousness. In the moment of reflection, the solitary, one-pointed instinctive impulse is experienced in relationship to the totality of one’s self and God Within. The compulsive behavior that discharges the prompt of the instinct is interrupted. We experience our selves as more than the momentary urge. Reflection lets us see the whole of who we are, who others are, and what goes on between us. It allows us to see how our actions (including thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, facial expressions, body posture, tone of voice, etc.) impact others and us. Reflection turns natural processes into conscious contents. Perhaps, this is what Paul meant about being born a natural man and raised into a spiritual man. The creative instinct allows us to use our imagination. We can take things apart and put things together. We can use our creativity in service of life to create images that best house and express the desires of our embodied soul. We can also use the creative instinct to perpetuate the split between our body and God Within. Too often, the perpetuation of the split between body and God Within happens unwittingly, but the creative impulse lets us create something new. We do not have to be stuck. God Within moves us in the creative impulses towards new ways of being, living, and doing. Our bodies are “as the limbs and organs of Christ.” We are valuable limbs and organs. The instincts of hunger, sexuality, movement or drive to activity, reflection, and creativity are messengers through which God Within speaks. Tending to the physical realities of how our body works is the starting point for honoring God Within. We create a conscious pathway for aligned action by seeking to know the essence of God Within in the impulses we feel. When we see our bodies as expressions of God Within, we can relax into right relationship with our self, God Within, and others. Right relationship means our ego lives in alignment to God Within. Our conscious self, or ego, can choose to act in service of God Within or in service of momentary, impulsive whims. The scripture reminds us, “I am free to do anything…but yes, not everything is for my good.” With reflection and creativity, we can respond to our bodies impulses and desires as the expressions of God Within that they are. Inner Reflection What movement(s) do you want to make in your life at this time? Where are you feeling the drive to activity? Ask God Within to show you how to move forward, to take action that reflects the totality of who you are. How do you make space for reflection? What are the practices that support you in seeing beyond momentary emotions and impulses to the larger realities? Spend a few minutes opening to see the truths of a situation that is niggling at you. Ask God Within to give you the courage to see without blame or judgment. What are the creative projects that keep calling you? Where does your creativity find expression? How do you live creatively moment-to-moment? Imagine what you can do differently in areas of your life that feel stagnant and dead. Ask God Within to help you act with courage from your heart as the source of creativity.

1 Corinthians 10:1-13, Trials and Tests Verse 1: “So far you have faced no trial beyond what man can bear. God keeps faith, and he will not allow you to be tested above your powers, but when the test comes he will at the same time provide a way out, by enabling you to sustain it.” This Scripture is both disturbing and comforting. It can be confusing to imagine God as testing and putting us through trials while providing us the sustenance and wherewithal to move beyond them. The paradox is also present within our psyches. Carl Jung states, “The Self is both the harbinger of that which is helpful and that which is injurious to the self.” Whatever manifests in our ego/body-mind is an expression of the Divine Within. We experience “trials and tests” where distortions of our energy or life force create blocks that result in circular, life-deadening patterns. For example, a circular physical block may manifest as chronic pain, body symptoms, and structural ailments. These often get labeled as “disease” in our culture. The same is true of the circular emotional, mental, and spiritual patterns that block us. Normal, but stuck, emotions of grief, sadness, hurt, elation, and franticness get labeled as mental disorders. Mental states of worry, obsession, and fantasy may be called pathologies. Spiritual conditions of malaise and apathy or expansion and elation get labeled as depressive disorders, including Bipolar. Once labeled, problematic conditions—our “trials and tests”—are most often related to as static and fixed. We do not look to see the origins within our psyche/soul. We do not look to see how our body-mind’s state, albeit distorted, is an attempt of the Divine Self to express something. We need to see the seed of the Self that is cloaked in the problem. In the seed of the Self we find the Self’s ability to move the blocked energy. In this way, the Self “provide[s] a way out.” For example, the seed of a compulsion may be our unmet need. As we acknowledge, validate, and relate to the need, the energy block loosens. We can consciously choose to focus on the seed and relating to it in life-enhancing ways. The path of Incarnation—our egos living in service to the Self/God Within—demands we learn to work with our reflexive, automatic consciousness (vital or animal soul) in a way that sees the Divine Within it. Too often, we think we are what we do or what we feel! We get identified with the smallness of the singular, momentary sensations, emotions, thoughts, or feelings we have. We forget that the Self/God Within is bigger than any one situation or “trial or test.” Even though we may feel at the mercy of our whims, impulses, unbidden thoughts and feelings, or body sensations or conditions, the Self/God Within offers a different way. Our task is to seek this way. By “building a conscious relationship to the unconscious,” we open to knowing the Self/God Within as our ego/self cultivates a line of communication to the Self. We realize we are not disconnected from God. Rather, we are an expression of God. The ego is the embodied Self. When we realize this, our “trials and tests” come into perspective as learning opportunities. We relate to our daily inner and outer situations as the laboratory in which we/our egos are experimenting to become the fullest and clearest expression of the Divine Within. Inner Reflection Take a few moments to acknowledge your current “trials and tests.” What are the energies behind them? How do your desires and intellect shape them? What are the emotions that yield your physical responses? Ask the Inner Divine Spirit to help you see and know the seed of the Self/God Within that is present within all your experiences. Reach for the essence of the Divine Within that can “provide a way out, by enabling you to sustain it.”

Daniel 4:28–37, The Most High Verses 30, 32: “Is not this the great Babylon which I have built as a royal residence by my own mighty power and for the honor of my majesty?, To you, King Nebuchadnezzar, the word is spoken: the kingdom has passed from you…until you have learnt that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will.” Nebuchadnezzar verbalizes an attitude of someone who has forgotten his or her dependence on the Divine Mystery we experience as the Self/God Within. The king makes the mistake of hubris, which Webster’s defines as “an exaggerated sense of self importance or confidence.” His ego is acting as if he were the originator of all that is. When all is going well in life and we feel we are in “control,” we often forget there is more to who we are than the present expression. How often we think we are in charge of ourselves only to be surprised by an unbidden emotion, mood, thought, desire, or behavior. The unbidden may be inconsistent with what we are thinking or planning. It may be a “light bulb” idea that helps us or a burst of energy that moves us. Either way, the manifestation holds a seed of the Self. Psychologically, the “Most High” is the Self, the organizing principle of psyche (soul) that is our point of connection to God/Divine Essence. In terms of Jungian psychology, the ego or sense of self is a reflection or extension of the Self—the totality of our psyche. The Self (with a capital “S”) can be likened to a ray of the Sun. It is not the Sun, but an extension of it. We are not God, but we are an extension of the Divine. Like Nebuchadnezzar, we can forget that our power, strength, and creativity are not of our ego’s making but are an expression of the Self/God Within. The Divine Within demands we build a conscious or knowing relationship to our Divine Essence. To do this, we have to relate to our inner stirrings and seek the Divine presence in the mood, impulse, etc. We have to ask what purpose it serves or what it seeks to offer energetically and then listen for the answer from the “still small voice of God within.” By embracing the totality of who we are, we begin to see the whole of our psyche/soul and honor “the Most High.” Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to reflect on the whole of who you are and to honor the Divine with words of acknowledgment and gratitude for your Inner Divine Spirit.

Deuteronomy 6:10–15, Following the Self/God Within Verses 13–14: “The Lord your God you shall fear; him you shall serve, and by his name alone you shall swear. Do not follow other gods, any of the gods of the peoples who are all around you.” Sacred scriptures instruct us in the principles and laws at work in our body-minds and in the outer world. The esoteric tradition teaches, “As above, so below; as within, so without.” The patterns of regulation that affect and create our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are the same as those that govern the movement of the earth. For example, the law of gravity is a physical manifestation of the law of love/ardor. Love/ardor is a force that moves us towards someone or something with great zeal or passion. When we love, it is like a gravitational pull that brings things closer together. Gravity is love in the physical world. This scripture teaches that we are to follow and give allegiance only to “The Lord your God.” In the historical context of the story, the Israelites were being reminded of the necessity to stay loyal to and serve only Yahweh. Yahweh was/is One, the Divine that holds all and has the power to unite all. From the symbolic perspective of Jungian psychology, “the Lord your God” is the “Self.” The Self is the totality and organizing principle of the psyche (soul). Jung defined the Self as “a part of God that God put in us so that we will know there is a God.” When we realize that our ego, and “little s” self, is but a fragment of the totality we are, we rightfully fear the forces that show up as moods, affects, judgments, attitudes, etc. We can meet these forces with the instinctive fear response of fight or flight, which usually shows up in judgmental, damming attitudes and numbing, self-destructive behaviors. Or we can meet these forces with a healthy fear of respect and awe, which shows up in the desire to understand our self, to learn about our self, and to make choices according to the truth of our soul. The path of individuation (also known as salvation or enlightenment) means the ego/self follows the guidance and direction of the Self/God Within. Learning to distinguish the voice of the Self from “the gods of the peoples who are all around us” is a part of the process. There are always people, institutions, media, etc. that tell us what to value, how to believe/think, what to feel, and how to live. These “gods” can crowd out and cover up the perceptions, desires, and knowing that begin in our heart (and show up in our gut). By paying attention to how our psychic energy is moving in these ways, we can begin to know the voice of the Self/God Within. Inner Reflection Take a few moments to follow your breath into your body/mind. Notice the feelings, emotions, thoughts, images, desires that are present. Breathe deeper into your belly and invite the feelings and images that originate from the Self/God Within to show themselves to you. Set sacred intention to follow the energy and guidance of God Within.

Deuteronomy 8:1–10, Carefully Observe Verse 1: “You must carefully observe everything that I command you this day so that you may live and increase and may enter and occupy the land which the Lord promised to your forefathers upon oath.” We live in a culture of “it’s not my fault; it’s (you fill in the blank)’s fault.” The Judeo-Christian creation story highlights the prevalence of “passing the buck” even in Paradise. Adam declared, “Eve gave me the apple!”, meaning “she made me do it.” Eve threw responsibility back to the snake. Like Adam and Eve, we may deny what we have done and refuse to accept responsibility for what our choices and actions have created. We may resist seeing our selves—our thoughts, our emotional states, our actions, and the outcome they yield. We avoid feeling the discomfort of how our choices and actions, intended and unintended, conscious or unconscious, shape us, our relationships, and our environments (home, office, social groups, churches, nature, etc.) Unfortunately, not seeing ensures we will continue to recreate the same states of internal consciousness and the same types of relationships with other people and our environments. This scripture instructs us to “carefully observe everything” God has set in motion. Our ego/self often wants to impose its ideas of how things work without first observing the way things are working. Natural/spiritual laws or principles govern and create our personalities and bodies as well as nature and the environment. The key to changing anything, whether it’s an internal thought process or feeling state, or an external relationship exchange or environmental situation, is starting with what is. Sometimes, we say, “but I already know what’s happening, and nothing is changing.” We may feel victimized or stuck. We can drop into the paralysis of shame, hopelessness, and despair. We can rage at the injustice we feel and displace the “not yet owned” guilt of knowing we have a part. In the process, we often blame God. Psychologically, we blame our unconscious or the Self/God Within. Yet, the scripture quoted above states the Divine has made an oath to bring us into greater life. It is up to us to carefully observe how we work, how others work, how nature works, etc. Our observation must have an eye to what we need to see so our choices and actions may work within the natural/spiritual laws and move us towards greater life. (I believe greater life means an expanding consciousness that allows our lives to be in a perpetual state of improvement.) Inner Reflection Observe more carefully and attentively the processes at work within and around you. When you find yourself blaming another, or denying responsibility for any area or situation in your life, have courage and look to see your part. Identify the accompanying sensations, emotions, images, memories, etc. that set in motion the affect and behaviors in which you engage. Let this information empower you to make different choices and create different outcomes for yourself.

Deuteronomy 26:1–11, Possessing Your Land Verses 1–2, 10: “When you come into the land that the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance to possess, and you possess it, and settle in it, you shall take some of the first of all the fruit of the ground, which you harvest from the land that the Lord your God is giving you, and you shall put it in a basket…and set it down before the Lord your God and bow down before the Lord your God.” “Come into the land…possess it, and settle in it.” What a beautiful invitation to live, to tend, to cultivate, and to thrive in the land we are given. The first land we are given is our body-mind. Our body-mind is the earth, the ground, the foundation in which we live, move, and have our being. Our cellular consciousness provides the circuitry through which the Breath of God flows. It is through our body that we know our selves and all the complexities of who we are as a child of human parents and a child of God. We have the birthright of our felt experience that comes through our embodiment. Our body communicates with sensations, perceptions, hunches, emotions, impulses, passions, and yearnings. Our mind makes sense of these with input from our intellect. The raw information both body and mind provide is shaped by the psychological functions of feeling, thinking, sensing, and intuiting. When we receive these communications, we settle into our body-mind as we let them inform and shape our movements. When we deny, dismiss, or split them off, we energetically leave our body-mind. We lose conscious access to bits of our selves. Our soul flows into our body and mind, as the body-mind is the vehicle through which soul expresses in the physical world. We find our soul in all the states of our body-mind. I think of soul as embodied Spirit, and Spirit as the Breath of God that flows freely without the restrictions of matter (i.e, the limitations of the body). We are given the land of the body in which Spirit roots and grows. The body has been demonized throughout the centuries. As a result, we do not always honor the instincts of hunger, sexuality, movement, self-reflection, and creativity. Yet, to “come into the land the Lord your God is giving you” is to encounter these energies. We possess the land (of our body-mind) by tending to these instincts as holy. Once we possess the land of our body-mind, we settle into it by consciously relating to and dialoguing with what goes on inside of us. We all have constant conversations with ourselves. When we use that ability intentionally, we experience the largess of our soul in our body-mind. The scripture says to “take the first fruit of the land…and set it before the Lord.” I imagine the first fruits to be the sense we make of the impulses and yearnings that flow from the instincts. We set them before God Within as our ego-self consciously relates to them in the context of the whole of who we are. We seek to move with all our inner stirrings in service to God Within, not momentary ego wants. We “bow down to the Lord your God” when we consciously follow the ego-Self axis. The ego-Self axis is the line of communication between God Within and our conscious sense of self. We can think of it as a telephone line that’s always ready to be used. We just have to pick up the receiver—we have to open our inner ears and eyes to see the larger truth of our soul at work in what’s happening in us. Our spiritual practices and psychological depth work are tools to strengthen and clarify the communications between ego and God Within. When we settle in our body-mind, we are comfortable in our own skin. We exude a sense of realness that comes only from being embodied. The connection to God Within is strong because we receive the soul’s communications that come only through the body-mind. Our call is to receive this inheritance and consciously know it in relationship to God Within. Inner Reflection How do you relate to your body-mind as an expression of your soul? Consider your responses, conscious and unconscious, to the instincts of hunger, sexuality, movement, self-reflection, and creativity. What is your attitude towards each? How do you express each as a manifestation of soul? Offer your attitudes, desires, repulsions, fears, longings, and other feelings about your body-mind to God Within. Open to feel the joy and abundance—the largess—of your embodied Self.

Ephesians 1: 10–11, “ALL in all, All in ALL” Verses 10b–11, “Since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.” Sticky tar from freshly picked tobacco leaves covered by hands. I was placing the leaves on my uncle’s newly purchased looper. The looper mechanically tied the leaves to a stick that held them vertically to dry in the curing barn. Weeks later, the sweetest earthy smell flowed from the barn. The juxtaposition of the dark substance to the delightful smell reminds me that “Christ is all and is in all.” “ALL in all, All in ALL” is a Hermetic principle that conveys the oneness of creation present in spite of divisions made by limited consciousness. The ALL is symbolized by Christ. Carl Jung wrote about Christ as the archetype of the Self, the unified psyche. He also stated that psyche is a complex of opposites and contains a multiplicity of energies. In moments of inner conflict, we may struggle to feel the oneness of our innate Self. Yet, the Self, the totality of psyche, is a reality that we know through “being renewed in knowledge in the image of its [new self] Creator.” Renewing knowledge is born from embodied experiences of originally dark substances transformed to delightful aromas. This transformational image is a metaphor for personal growth. The curing barn is consciousness that puts on the new self. We step into the new self by remembering that the divine is in all. This supports us in relating to dark, sticky emotions, feelings, and fantasies with the knowledge that the heat of conscious attention invites the release of the innate divine essence. The knowledge of our inborn essence comes after we handle the messy aspects of our psyche. We have to willingly take up our inner conflicts, nasty thoughts, tenacious emotions, and uncomfortable sensations. We do this through active imagination—receptive dialogue with the inner matter. In this process, we consciously tie aspects of our nature together so they enlighten one another. The messy is transmuted through conscious relating with the intention of knowing the ever-present innate divine essence. As we hold the principle of “ALL in all, All in ALL,” also stated as “Christ is all, and is in all,” we experience the intrinsic unity of the Self we are. Inner Reflection and Outer Actions Meditate/contemplate on the principle of “ALL in all, All in ALL” or “Christ is all, and is in all.” Let it speak to you about your life now. Invoke the principle to dialogue with the messy, tenacious, or uncomfortable inner matters. Open to the fragrance of the divine essence in these, and all, aspects of self.

Ephesians 2:13–22, Uniting Opposites Verses 14, 16: “For he is himself our peace, Gentiles and Jews, he has made the two one, and in his own body of flesh and blood has broken down the enmity which stood like a dividing wall between them…This was his purpose, to reconcile the two in a single body to God through the cross, on which he killed the enmity.” When we consider this Scripture from a viewpoint of analytical psychology, each of the characters is an aspect of our psyche/soul. The Gentiles and the Jews are symbols of the instincts and archetypes within us. Instincts are automatic, reflexive impulses to respond to stimuli in certain ways. Archetypes are automatic, unbidden affective states that create desire that propel us to move in certain ways. Instincts are like the infrared end of the light spectrum; archetypes are like the ultraviolet. Instincts are associated with the body and release somatic tension; archetypes are associated with the spirit and bring new expressions of our self. We all have suffered from the split between the two, just as the Gentiles and the Jews suffered from their division. Precisely as Christ made the two one, referring to the Gentiles and Jews, the Self/God Within us unites antagonistic aspects of our nature. The antagonistic aspects usually show up as an impulse to respond in a certain way and a desire for something different. We can experience this opposition within ourselves in innumerable ways that foster ill will or hatred of our self. For example, we may eat for comfort, purchase something that catches the eye, call an “ex” who is hurtful because we feel lonely, or end a relationship or change jobs when we would rather eat only when physically hungry, let go of impulse shopping, keep healthy boundaries and find new friends, or want the relationship or job. We have all felt volleyed back and forth between opposites in our nature. We decide on one way, but the other creeps up and interferes. The ego alone does not have the capacity to resolve the conflict in a way that unites the opposites and creates a unifying third (option). The Self/God Within us does have that capacity, just as Christ had that effect with the Gentiles and Jews. In analytical psychology, Carl Jung wrote about the Transcendent Function. Simply stated, the Transcendent Function is an organic process that kicks in when we consciously relate to opposing positions and hold both within our body-mind simultaneously. When we do so, the uniting third emerges spontaneously. However, our tendency is to align with one side and dismiss the other. Thus, we continue being tossed to and fro within our selves. To invite the Transcendent Function, we must consciously experience and hold the antagonistic energies together until the third emerges. The cross is an apt symbol for the expression of God Within through the Transcendent Function. The opposites (literally, vertical and horizontal arms that we could say symbolize archetype and instinct) are united. A sacrifice is made as each must yield to the other to form a union. Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to acknowledge the conflicts within you. Flesh out the opposites by feeling into them. What are the ideas, beliefs, body sensations, emotions, and images that accompany them? (Journaling can be helpful.) Hold the opposites together and open for the Self/God Spirit to provide the uniting third.

Ephesians 4:7–8, 11–16, The Body Verses 15–16: “No, let us speak the truth in love; so shall we fully grow up into Christ. He is the head, and on him the whole body depends. Bonded and knit together by every constituent joint, the whole frame grows through the due activity of each part, and builds itself up in love.” In the esoteric Judeo-Christian tradition, love as a force is considered an expression of gravitation. Love is the intangible something that draws things or people together; it propels us towards something or someone. “Speaking truth in love” can be understood to mean stating our truth (perceptions, experiences, feelings, etc.) in a way that draws us towards another or invites relationship. “The other” may be a person, process, or an aspect of our selves. Parts of our selves may show up as energy that feels disconnected from who we think we are. We may experience thoughts, feelings, and desires that seem alien to us. They are not congruent with what we consciously say or think. These energies are bits of the Self/God Within not yet owned by our ego and not connected to our consciousness. For example, when we feel shamed for our emotions, desires, or body sensations, we unwittingly label them “bad” and start to deny or hide them. Often, the experiences of the body are demonized; we separate from them instead of moving towards (loving) them. However, the Self manifests itself in and through our body and mind. Whatever arises within our body and mind must be brought into loving relationship with our conscious self and integrated. All parts of the body and mind have a “due activity” that contributes to the building up of the ego/self relationship to the Self/God Within. Symbolically, “To fully grow up into Christ,” means to move towards a sense of self or ego that has conscious connection and union with the Divine Self/God Within. Our task is to see the expression of the Self/God Within in our body experience. Sensations and intuitions that occur in our body give rise to thoughts and feelings. When we dismiss, disparage, or reject any of these, we disconnect from a piece of who we are. We must learn to see into the images or impulses that arise so we can discern the function, purpose, and place of the energy they hold. With loving consciousness, we can relate to and influence the direction of our energies. The Scripture states the energetic truth, “The whole frame grows through the due activity of each part, and builds itself up in love.” Our call as humans is to understand our inner workings and use our consciousness to connect to all aspects of our self and Self. We answer this call as we own our embodied experience and look to see the flow of the Self into the body-mind experience. Inner Reflection Take a few moments to observe what is happening in your body-mind at this time. Ask the Self/God Within to help you lovingly receive what is present. Ask what it holds for you. What wants to be embodied consciously? Perhaps, the tightness is your chest is saying, “open to love.” Perhaps, the queasiness in your gut is saying, “that person or project isn’t right for you.” Perhaps, the excitement/anxiety in your gut is saying, “wow, s/he or that is right for you.” Welcome the expressions of the Divine that take shape in you and seek guidance regarding their “due activity” and place in the whole of you.

Ephesians 5:1–20, Light Verses 13–14, “But everything, when once the light has shown it up, is illumined, and everything thus illumined is all light. And so the hymn says: ‘Awake, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine upon you.’” ★ Where do you sleep? Where do you refuse to wake up and be alive? Alive to the nuances of what you feel, see, touch, know. Tasting the sweetness and the bitterness of what happens day in and day out. Reality… How much of it can we bear? Moving in and out of our ideals, our perceptions, our distortions To see fully and clearly what is. Who we are; who we aren’t. Truth is sometimes ugly. It lurks in the dark Creating shame that hides the suffering that is. ‘Awake, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine upon you.’ An invitation… To life…to Light…to God Within… A Self that transforms ugly truth and suffering. To see, to know, to be aware I release the shame that keeps me hidden The secrets that keep me feeling dirty, wrong, useless Shame is the underbelly of darkness. Not seeing, denying, ignoring, pretending I give power to that which destroys me No longer will shame kill me I gather all I know me to be And I call for the me I Am I Am comes Bringing Light that mutes the power of darkness I Am awake, I Am alive, I Am my Self. ★ As a species, humans struggle to move from living in the dark—unaware, numb, unconscious, hidden—to living in the light, awake, feeling, conscious, seen. We are animal, so we have automatic, reflexive patterns and behaviors in our body and mind. We don’t have to worry about making ourselves breathe or digest food. It happens automatically. Yeah! Other patterns, such as the survival instinct, prompt responses that are not life-giving. We act reflexively and we destroy life—ours or another’s. In a historical context, this scripture addresses the differences between the common morality and religion of that day and the new standard of the Christian community. The norm was gratification of bodily needs and living out instinctive desires without regard for oneself and others. The negative and destructive behaviors (i.e., fornication, greed, indecency) that accompanied such choices violated the guidelines for human interaction given in the Ten Commandments. Now, as then, we all have to deal with our animal (instinctive) nature and our central nervous system responses that prompt reflexive, instinctive, “kill or be killed” responses to ourselves and others. Christ’s teachings call us to live consciously—knowingly, intentionally, relationally. Consciousness starts with seeing. Awareness is the first step, but not the whole. Consciousness involves our felt experience, our body and our mind. Seeing with only our head is one-dimensional because the light penetrates deep into the soil below the surface of ego awareness. We have the capacity within our psyches to see the whole. Our egos may fear falling apart in the face of what is, but the Self/God Within can and does hold us together. The scripture says, “Everything, when once the light has shown it up, is illumined, and everything thus illumined is all light.” Consciousness has a way of lightening us up! Naming, knowing, feeling, experiencing, and expressing our selves is powerful medicine. Ultimately, it releases the bogged down, heavy feeling states that make us sluggish and inert—dead. Inner Reflection Where are you stuck? Where are you not moving in spite of a desire to do so? Ask God Within to shine light on what is happening inside of you that keeps you caught. Remember to call on the Self to help you as a self/ego. The ego can bring a head consciousness, but the Self brings the embodied consciousness. We need both! Dialogue with the various states (thoughts, feelings, images) you find and receive what they have to offer. Invite each to take their rightful place in the whole of you. Remember, the Self is the totality of psyche that can and does hold all.

Exodus 1:6–22, Overcoming Tyranny Against New Life Verse 22: “Pharaoh then ordered all his people to throw every new-born Hebrew boy into the Nile, but to let the girls live.” Walt Kelly’s cartoon character Pogo once said, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” It is true that we are our own worse enemy! We go through some days battling ourselves—critical voices; should, must, ought to; conflicting feelings; opposite desires; our head wanting one thing and our body another. It’s as if an inner Pharaoh were determined to kill the sparks of our life that want expression. Unfortunately, our inner Pharaoh’s tyranny often gets fueled by the outside world. We recall critical comments people made to us; we relive moments of discomfort and shame in relationships; we feel as if another’s lack of response or negative response means we’ve done something wrong or we’re worthless. We pick up other people’s negative feelings about themselves and life; they drown out the impulses we feel to express our life force. Pharaoh ordered only the boys to be killed, not the girls. Symbolically, the boys represent the masculine principle and the girls represent the feminine. The masculine is dynamic, penetrating, discriminating; the feminine principle is magnetic, receptive, integrating. The masculine separates and leads us to move and take action; the feminine unites the myriad parts of our self and leads to a sense of stability and wholeness. Both men and women possess masculine and feminine energies. It is our impulse to move, to take action, that so often gets thrown out by our inner Pharaoh. We lose access to the energy that stirs the desire to do something life giving for ourselves. We get caught in the inertia of the body-mind! We think we’re lazy, undisciplined, incompetent, etc. We fail to see the big picture of how our psyche/soul operates and comes into manifestation. The body-mind has a propensity to create patterns that become set. They operate without conscious control or thought. The body processes of digestion and respiration are examples. The mental processes of habits, beliefs, and chosen behaviors are another. The Pharaoh within wants to maintain the status quo. It wants us to keep going with the same ways, beliefs, and directions. When new seeds of the life force prompt us to move beyond the current situation, the Pharaoh feels threatened. We suffer under oppressive self-talk, attitudes, and beliefs that zap our energy and make us feel lethargic. In the scripture story, the midwives did not carry out Pharaoh’s orders. Symbolically, I love the image of an inner midwife who helps deliver and protect the newborn aspects of Self/God Within. In spite of destructiveness towards our selves, something in us nurtures the seeds of the Self as they show up in new feelings, thoughts, sensations, impulses, etc. When allowed to grow, these seeds manifest in new interests, hobbies, pursuits, relationships, daily self-care habits/disciplines, etc. Spring is a time when libido (the life force, chi) naturally moves. We feel stirrings to play, to clean house (inner and outer), to love another, to do creative projects, to engage in healthy activities (diet, exercise, etc.), to take care of things we’ve put off. Nature’s expansion ignites inner transformation that leads to new life. We can respond like Pharaoh and thwart it, or we can respond like the midwives and protect and nurture the new within. Inner Reflection What are you feeling stirred to do? What have you wanted to change, but haven’t? How does the inner Pharaoh interfere? Ask the Self/God Within to help you know the energy of the inner midwives. Look to see and identify how you can consciously midwife the new aspects of Self /God Within coming into your self/ego. Let yourself claim and be moved forward by the transformative energy of spring.

Exodus 32:21–34, Golden Calves Verses 22–23: “Aaron replied, ‘Do not be angry sir, the people were deeply troubled; that you well know. And they said to me, ‘Make us gods to go ahead of us, as for this fellow Moses, who brought us up from Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.’’” How often our impatience and unknowing cause our difficulties! Like the Israelites in this Scripture, we get antsy not knowing something, so we set about making what we know into gods. We cling to ideas, beliefs, values, or perceptions we are comfortable with, instead of seeking the felt presence of the Divine. We forget that life starts from the Mystery of the Limitless Light, “the world without form and void.” We do not like the void or the darkness, so we create ways of living that thwart our libido/life force. We may even lose sight of our heart’s desires (which flow from the Self/God Within) as our libido/life force is captured in something stagnant. Wherever we are attached to form, we eventually become stuck, lifeless, or empty. The form may be a relationship, a job situation, a habit, a belief, a thought pattern, etc. Forms are a necessary part of the human experience as we are called to embody—to manifest. Forms are problematic only when they become more important than the Spirit. When we hold to forms that thwart the flow of the Self/God Within, we make those forms into gods. The Israelites had practice living in relationship to a fixed, tangible god of the golden calf. When troubled, they were unwilling to stay in the fluid, ever-evolving relationship with the Divine Spirit. Like the wandering Israelites, when we are troubled, we tend to reach for and return to what we know. Our allegiance goes to the relationships (to people, places, structures, teachings, beliefs, feelings, desires, and thoughts) that have been in place, instead of opening to the Spirit in the unknown or changing. Inner Reflection Consider where you are loyal to the manmade gods. What are the beliefs, relationships, feeling states, habit patterns, etc. that you know thwart your relationship to the Self/God Within? Where do you feel lifeless, stuck, or as if you are dying? Where are you afraid of change? Open to feel what, where, and towards whom God Within is moving you (in the inner and outer worlds). Be courageous and stay with the discomfort until you sense in your body and mind the presence of the Divine flow. Set sacred intention to follow the energy of the Self/God Within.

Ezekiel 3:14, A Call To Humanness Verses 1, 3, 4: “Man, eat….Man, swallow….Man, go and tell….” God’s instruction to Ezekiel repeatedly begins with God addressing Ezekiel as “Man.. I am struck by the focus on the “Man” Ezekiel versus the personality Ezekiel. It is as if God were calling to something greater than the ego or personality known as Ezekiel. God was calling forth the aspect of Ezekiel created in the image of God— Ezekiel’s humanity. We are all recovering from centuries-old, erroneous beliefs that human beings are lower than low and the human condition is to be loathed. We are still escaping from the belief that we are born sinful. Yet, God engages, instructs, fortifies, and commissions “Man.” Man, shorthand for humanity, is created in the image of God. (Genesis 1) As humans, we are expressions of God. Psalm 8 beautifully affirms this while stating, “What is man that thou hast created him a little lower than the angels?” The New English Bible translates the same verse, “yet thou (God) has made him (human) little less than a god.” We have God-given powers to mediate between biological and spiritual energies. We have been commissioned by God to tend the physical realm while honoring the presence of God within and around us. Humans have a bad rap as we have struggled to realize we are more than reflective, automatic, impulsive, and instinctive responses. A quick review of the history of mankind shows the atrocities of our barbaric, unfeeling animal nature. We can all call to mind times we’ve reacted coldly out of the instinctive fight or flight response. We may have realized it was out of proportion for the present situation, but it still prompted our actions. Our humanness is the mediating consciousness between our animal and divine natures. To be human is to embody the nature of God (our divine essence) in our body and mind; it is to live in a state where our instincts and our desires are at one with our Divine Essence, our soul. It begins as our cellular consciousness responds to our seeking, relating to, and opening to the essence of our true nature, which is God’s nature. We embody the essence of the Divine in our earthly life when we use consciousness. We have a God-given capacity for consciousness that allows us to direct our attention and energies, to look beyond surface appearances, to see the big picture, to make choices, and to create with vision. When we realize that we are more than our automatic responses, we can consciously access the presence of God Within our body-mind. We associate being human with these qualities: “humane, philanthropic, kind, gentle, polite; learned, refined, and civilized.” To be human is a state that we cultivate; it doesn’t happen just because we are born into a human body. We have to consciously learn and refine our abilities to mediate what goes on inside of us—the various impulses, desires, and phantasies. The inner tension between our ego or personality and the aforementioned unbidden messengers of our larger Self has to be acknowledged, known, and explored. We have to listen to what the voice of God Within says in all our internal stirrings. God instructs Ezekiel, “Man, eat…swallow…go and tell.” It is not enough for “Humans” to hear; we must ingest, digest, and assimilate what we experience. It must be grounded in our body. (The word human comes from the word humus, which means earth.) Taking in is key. The earth takes in our seeds to grow what is planted. We have to receive what our larger Self offers, so the energies can be digested. Then, our sense of self and ways of responding, to our selves and others, becomes more human. Inner Reflection Where are you struggling to be human? What are the reflexive ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving that interfere with your consciousness? When do you get ungrounded? Where are you being called by God Within to assimilate emotions, impulses, and their resulting one-sided thoughts? Dialogue with these bits of yourself. Listen to what each has to offer and hold it with the desire to become more human. Feel God Within call you to live the fullness of who you as a human being.

Ezekiel 11:17–20, An Undivided Heart and a New Spirit Verse 19: “I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. ”The heart of flesh is a feeling heart. It has life; it quickens; it stirs. It is not passive, inert like stone. We are born with a heart of flesh that makes itself known in our desires, impulses, longings, images, dreams, and gut/body knowing. As we experience other’s disapproval or disdain, or we meet obstacles in acting from our heart, the heart of flesh can become a heart of stone. In this case, the stone represents a coldness and hardness to life. Our life force becomes blocked, stagnant. It begins to rot in negative feelings, images, and thoughts. Our actions don’t flow from the truth of our nature. We give up following the path we know is right for us. We end up confused. We go along with the people around us even when it feels wrong in our hearts and minds. We find ourselves half-hearted, not whole-hearted, about who we are, our relationships, our day-to-day lives, because the totality of who we are is not present. We give up being clear-hearted, full-hearted, and strong-hearted out of fear of rejection or abandonment. In the meantime, we are abandoning ourselves. Carl Jung talked about an organic process called the Transcendent Function. The Transcendent Function provides a unifying, or uniting, third when we can consciously hold the tension of opposites within us. The opposites may be as mundane as wanting to lose weight by passing up sweets yet craving your favorite dessert. Wherever we are in conflict about what we think, feel, or want to do, we can identify two opposing bits. When we can flesh out the opposing desires, see the bit of our self/ego and Self (totality of our psyche/soul) in each, Self/God Within can activate the Transcendent Function and something in us shifts. It is as if we are given “an undivided heart” and a new spirit. To move towards the undivided heart, we must be willing to feel, know, and relate to the split up pieces of our soul as they show themselves in our feelings, moods, thoughts, images, fantasies, experiences, etc. Yet we have been taught to deny and pretend we don’t feel certain ways by a culture that has demonized aspects of the human experience (such as, anger, sexual desire, allegiance to our soul over the outer collective). This denial has divided our hearts and souls. To stay whole, we need to see and accept what we are experiencing internally. Then the split-off bits of self can be reintegrated. I often use the image of a pie. Disowned or denied pieces float around disconnected from the center and are not part of the whole pie. Floating feelings, thoughts, images, etc. are disconnected from the whole and have a lot more volatility, unpredictability, and power than those connected to the center. Every felt sensory experience has its rightful place. When we consciously relate to what goes on inside us, Self/God Within has a chance to heal the conflicts. Our ego’s part is to stay with the tension and struggle of the opposites, with an eye towards understanding each fully and deeply. In this way, we invite the Transcendent Function. Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to reflect on the state of your heart. Where do you feel divided? Hold the image of being strong-hearted, full-hearted, clear-hearted, and whole-hearted. Be willing to look at and relate to whatever feelings, desires, images, and thoughts keep you from this unity. Invite God Within to help you flesh out what needs to be known, and to hold any seeming opposites. In this way, open to the unity of your psyche/soul.

Galatians 3:23–29, Moving Beyond the Law To Faith Verses 23–25m: “Before this faith came, we were close prisoners in the custody of law, pending the revelation of faith. Thus the law was a kind of tutor in charge of us until Christ should come, when we should be justified through faith; and now that faith has come, the tutor’s charge is at an end.” My favorite definition of faith is from The Mystical Qabalah by Dion Fortune. She states faith is: “The conscious result of supraconsciousness experience which has not been translated into terms of brain consciousness, and of which, therefore the normal personality is not directly aware, though it nevertheless feels, possibly with great intensity, the effects, and its emotional reactions are fundamentally and permanently modified thereby.” Faith is not the belief in an idea or doctrine or dogma but is the state of consciousness that comes from an experience of God Within felt as something larger than our ego/self. Faith is an experience of superconsciousness we are not able to adequately capture in words. Yet, faith changes us. Something in our drive, our way of being with our selves, God Within, and others changes. The change is spontaneous. We can choose to go with it or stay loyal to our former ways. The writer of Galatians notes when we have faith, we are no longer “prisoners in the custody of law.” He describes law as a “tutor in charge of us until Christ should come.” It’s interesting to think about the psychological structure that Freud termed superego as the mental equivalent of religious or spiritual law. The superego develops from the internalized shoulds, musts, and ought tos learned from family, school, church, society, etc. Superego is the precursor to our conscience and autonomous sense of self. To the degree we are stuck in the internalized “laws,” we are a prisoner. We serve the learned ways even thought they may contradict our Self/God Within. We don’t have the ability to move in alliance with our larger Selves. Think for a minute about where you feel like a prisoner. In spite of your desires to experience or act differently, you find yourself limited by the learned ways. Often, the authority of “should, must, ought to” squeezes out the space of silence in which we can hear the voice of the Self/God Within. When we find ourselves caught in these places, we can invite an experience of faith by clarifying what we know. The movement towards knowing the Christ/the Self/God Within begins with acknowledging, clarifying, and understanding what is within us. Carl Jung wrote about an organic process, known as the Transcendent Function, through which a uniting third emerges when we consciously hold two opposing states of consciousness (thoughts, feelings, desires, etc.) simultaneously. This means bringing conflicting thoughts, feelings, etc. to the light of consciousness and struggling to hold what is there with the intention of finding the Self/God Within. In this way, we open our psyche/soul to receive the transcendent or the supraconsciousness of the Inner Divine Spirit. Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to clarify your inner conflicts. What are the opposing perspectives of the superego or learned authority and your experience or felt sense? Write down what you know about each. Invite a focusing statement that holds the essence of the struggle. Listen to hear what comes. Faith comes as we consistently ask and seek the Self/God Within.

Galations 4:4–7, Freedom from Slavery Verse 7: “You are therefore no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then also by God’s own act an heir.” The words “no longer a slave but a son” evoke feelings of freedom, elevation, and elation. The slave has lost control of himself and is dominated by another. The other may be a person or thing (such as a mood altering substance, an obsessive thought, or a person’s character structure). A son and an heir have the resources of the parent available. S/He has the capacity to direct and control her/himself. What a move! Psychologically, what does it mean that we are sons and heirs of God? From the perspective of Jungian Psychology and the Western Mystery Tradition of Kabbalah, the ego/personality moves from being a slave to unconscious (or unknown) affects, impulses, and reflexive patterns to living in conscious relationship to the unconscious and the Self/God Within. When we are a slave to the impulses and emotions that arise in us, we have lost connection to the freedom and power of choice. With consciousness, we have the needed access to our inner resources to be in charge of ourselves, to choose how to respond and what to do or say. Consciousness is more than self-awareness or insight. It is an embodied state of energy that changes our sense of self and relationship to self and Self. Awareness or insight is connected to images (including thoughts) that stir sensations and feelings that lead to a different experience in our body and mind. When consciousness comes, we feel as if we have been freed from the domination of something other than ourselves. Responsibility is a by-product of consciousness. Sons and heirs have access to resources, and they have the freedom to decide how to use them. We all make choices every day about how to use our inner resources—the resources of thought, feeling, sensation, intuition, and their various manifestations. In our “slave” mentality, we make choices unconsciously and unwittingly, and we often serve the desires and wants of others. We stay stuck in ruts, do things out of (lifeless) habits, and continue with the status quo. When we experience the freedom of being “God’s son and heir,” which comes from living in conscious relationship to the Self, we knowingly create with our responses. We meet our inner and outer experiences with the knowledge of our self/ego related to the Self/God Within. Inner Reflection I invite you to consider where you feel enslaved. What variables (thoughts, images, fantasies, beliefs, past experiences, fears, etc.) are at work in the situation? Center yourself by focusing on your breath and ask the Self/God Within to give you consciousness about the situation. Open to receive a felt experience of your inner strength and resources that will let you act as the heir of the Self/God Within.

Galatians 5:22, Peace and Purity Galatians 5:22: “The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control.” Philippians 4:6–7: “The Lord is near. Have no anxiety, but in everything make your requests known to God in prayer and petition with thanksgiving. Then, the peace of the Lord which surpasses all understanding will keep guard over your hearts and souls in Christ Jesus.” Romans 14:17: “For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but justice, peace, and joy inspired by the Holy Spirit.” Definitions (Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary) Peace: State of tranquility or quiet as (a) freedom from civil disturbance, (b) state of security or order within a community provided for by custom or law Freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions Harmony in personal relations State or period of mutual accord between governments; pact or agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war or in a state of enmity. Purity: state of being pure Pure: Unmixed with any other matter; free from dirt, dust, or any other matter; spotless, stainless Free from harshness or roughness and being in tune (used of a musical tone) Sheer, unmitigated As I write this, I am experiencing the peace that comes from being with the sunrise over the water. The order of Nature, the harmony of the elements, and the sense of accord or oneness bring a peaceful feeling. For a few moments, I know the peace of God in my cellular consciousness and my mind. I feel the quiet tranquility of the pure essence of Divine Being. These moments provide a respite from the dis-harmony I often experience as I move through my day. The dis-harmony of our inner world takes a lot of space, energy, and attention. When we are at war with ourselves, we are off center. We get volleyed between different points of view, conflicting feelings, and opposing desires. We experience harshness towards our selves. We are in a state of turmoil, not peace. The Advent candle for peace and purity invites us to work for inner peace. We do this by consciously engaging with the state of dis-harmony. We can use the arms of love: acknowledgment, validation, acceptance, recognition, and gratitude. We begin by acknowledging the conflicting aspects of our selves (feelings, thoughts, perceptions, sensations, and desires). We accept the validity of each side as we listen for the seed of God Within that it holds. We accept the state of consciousness as we dialogue with the inner state or “voice.” We recognize the value of the energy by channeling it into life-giving action. We offer gratitude for the sense of inner unity and peace that comes from consciously engaging all parts of our selves. Inner peace is tied to living from the purity of heart and soul. In the process of socialization, our heart’s desires can get polluted with learned “shoulds, musts, and ought tos.” The clarity of mind offered by our heart and soul gets cloaked with adaptive behaviors. Our inner conflicts and harshness often come from the clash of the soul’s desires with the adaptive self. As we engage with whatever arises in love, we can discern the purity of soul. We have to ask ourselves: What is the source of our prompts or desires? Is it an adaptive response? Is it heart’s longing? Is it ego acting as if it’s separate from God Within? Is it ego acting in sync with God Within? We can invite all of them to the peace table in our heart. There each bit of self gets to speak and make its case. Each bit then has to listen to the other bits of self. In the process, we can open to hear what God Within offers as the uniting way that leads to peace. Inner Reflection What are your current anxieties and inner conflicts? Extend the arms of love to each of them. Offer acknowledgment, validation, recognition, acceptance, and gratitude. You may do this by engaging in an active imagination where you dialogue with the anxiety or conflict. Get into a meditative state of mind and invite the energy to talk with you. Ask God Within to help you hear the voice of your heart and soul.

Genesis 19:1–29, We Are Led! Verses 16, 26: “When he [Lot] lingered, they [the angels] took him by the hand, with his wife and daughters, and because the Lord had spared him, led him on until he was outside the city… But Lot’s wife, behind him, looked back, and she turned into a pillar of salt.” The Western Mystery Tradition affirms that the Divine Essence pulls us forward, leading us on the path of enlightenment. We do the seeking and the work of gardening our psyche/souls, but God Within/the Self draws us to feel, image, and desire that which we need for the fullest expression of our soul. We are moved forward by innate urgings, desires, and impulses that prompt us to grow and live more wholly who we are. Analytical psychology talks about this as the individuation instinct. Carl Jung stated our libido/life force has a direction it naturally flows unless blocked. The soul is teleological (purposeful). We are pulled (or pushed) forward to develop and grow. Nothing in nature stands still. It is either dying or growing! This is true of our body, minds, and spirits too. Sometimes, we are reluctant to move! We know we need to give up a way of doing (or not doing) something, leave a relationship (with another, a place, a job, etc.), or take action on an idea or desire. We feel the prompt from “the angels” within that show up as intuitions, gut knowing, visions, etc. Our reason and evaluative functions see changes we need to make in our habits, thoughts, home, psychic and physical environments. Yet, we stay where we are, doing the same thing, and we wonder why nothing is different! Like Lot, we may hear our inner angels directing us and still put off taking the needed step. When we postpone or delay, we may find ourselves being pushed out of a situation or pulled into something new. Suddenly, we’re doing something we never thought we’d do. We may be in a relationship we never imagined for ourselves. We may be forced into new circumstances by another’s choice (our employer, our spouse, a friend, the driver in the lane beside us) or an unanticipated event (accident, illness, gifts, love). Such happenings take us to new territory in our inner and outer worlds. As “they [the angels] took [Lot] by the hand…and led him out…,” we too are led. When we first see the hurt, confusion, disappointment, or angst in ourselves or others, we may feel immobilized. There is a rooting in the human condition of limitation and the reality that creation and destruction coexist. We have to be able to bear knowing the destruction we’ve left behind. Growth always involves death; something ends for the new to come. Where we are curious and look backwards, instead of forwards, like Lot’s wife, we are humbled. Salt is an alchemical symbol for the earth. To be earthed is to be humbled, to be grounded in the realities of being human. No new is born unless the existing passes away. Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to notice where you are feeling led in your life. What are the angels of intuition, unanticipated circumstances, unbidden visitors of feelings and desires, etc. saying? Where are they pointing? What is the loss that is coming? Where are you being led to a new place of living? Notice where you feel humbled and grounded in the process. Set sacred intention to follow the lead of God Within.

Genesis 27:30–45, Inner Conflict Verse 41: “Esau bore a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing which his father had given him, and he said to himself, ‘The time of mourning for my father will soon be here; then I will kill my brother Jacob.’” The story of Esau and Jacob offers a look at the competition, trickery, and murderous desires present and active within our psyches. Symbolically, the first-born Esau may represent a way of experiencing and expressing self in response to the outside world. He represents the known order. He follows the established “rules and regulations” of the day, including those of family, institutions, social mores, etc. We can consider Esau our adaptive self, which includes the ways we defend or create distance from our felt sense or embodied experiences. The most common way of doing this is denial. We deny our emotion, feeling, need, or desire to avoid negative responses. Jacob, the twin who was second-born, represents something in us that moves with freedom from the adapted restrictions of the known order. After birth, the first social order we know is our family. The first-born way of being in the world is shaped in the family. Jacob represents an alternative way that, though born simultaneously, is not favored because it does not comply with outer standards and expectations. We offer sacrifice natural tendencies and inclinations toward expression to fit in! Jacob and Esau represent this inner conflict present in all of us. Rote, familiar ways conflict with alternative, less restrictive, and more life-giving ways. We have all experienced this conflict when trying to change a habit. We want something different, yet the old, established way seems intent on destroying the new. In the scripture story, Jacob has the blessing of his father and the aid of his mother. Symbolically, we can interpret this support to mean that the alternative, unfamiliar, natural way of being has the favor of the Self/God Within, with support for the life-giving desires and energies of our soul. When we look to the Self, we can find a way to bring the new, life-giving energy into being. Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to acknowledge any inner conflicts. Identify the learned, familiar pattern or response and the accompanying alternative way. What comes automatically (the first born) and what accompanies it (the second-born twin)? Ask God Within to show you the way beyond the conflict.

Genesis 32:22–31, Grabbing Life Verse 26: “Then the man said, ‘Let me go, for it is daybreak.’ But Jacob replied, ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me.’” I once heard a sermon about what a scoundrel Jacob was. Jacob had a way of going after and getting what he wanted even when it meant cheating and taking from another. The presenter stated that in Hebrew Jacob means “one who grabs; a usurper.” I immediately thought about Prometheus. In Greek Mythology, it was Prometheus who stole fire from the gods and gave it to humans. Both Jacob and Prometheus saw something they valued and wanted, and they grabbed it. In this scripture, Jacob wanted the blessing of the angel with whom he wrestled. He was not willing to let go until he had it! Prior to this incident, he had wanted his brother’s birthright. Jacob demanded the birthright from Esau in exchange for a meal. Esau readily agreed. What Esau saw as meaningless in the moment, Jacob grabbed! Jacob also craftily tricked their father into passing the firstborn blessing to Jacob, rather than Esau. Prometheus and Jacob went for the spirit (fire) that would carry and sustain them. They intentionally and consciously pursued what created more consciousness and life. With their actions, they valued what had energy and grabbed what carried the life force/libido. Esau did not. He sold his birthright for a meal! He did not hold onto what mattered–an inheritance that would sustain him and those closest to him. Symbolically, fire is consciousness. The Divine Spirit is often depicted as tongues of fire. “A fire that requires no wood” can describe the creative life force pulsing through our bodies and souls. The creative fire just burns! I believe this is what Jacob felt and sought as he grabbed for the blessings of his father and the angel. Carl Jung described consciousness as contra naturem (against nature). For our ego/self to have choice, and not just respond automatically and reflexively from instincts or learned patterns of experience, requires effort. We have to work to build a relationship between what is known about our self and what is not known but felt and experienced. We have to want and seek something more than we have in our consciousness. Only when we value increased consciousness will our ego/self struggle to grab and hold onto the fiery energies of our heart and soul. We claim the blessing of “fire” that is our birthright as we wrestle with whatever comes to us. Inner Reflection Where are you wrestling within yourself? What sensations, feelings, thoughts, intuitions, perceptions, etc. surround the struggle? Track what has the greatest fire or energy. Seek the blessing of consciousness that is present and let it give you the needed resources from within to create life-sustaining relationships and environs.

Genesis 45:1–15, Standing With Yourself Verse 5: “Now do not be distressed or take it amiss that you sold me into slavery here; it was God who sent me ahead of you to save men’s lives.” I am struck by Joseph’s attitude towards his brothers. As a result of their envy, he was sold into slavery and spent time in prison. While in prison, Joseph used his gifts to interpret the dreams of his guards. Word of his talents spread. He was called to interpret a dream of the Pharaoh. His willingness to stand fully with himself and all he knew resulted in him becoming “a father to Pharaoh, and lord over all his household and ruler of all Egypt.” (Verse 8) We underestimate the power of standing with our inner resources and whole self. We seem to have a predisposition to noticing lack, hardship, absence, and struggle. Like Joseph’s brothers, we compare ourselves to others and we come up short. We can quickly access the guilt and shame-inducing litany of our deficits. We consciously or unconsciously may feel envy, jealousy, and hatred toward our self and/or others. Such feelings prompted Joseph’s brothers to sell him into slavery. We sell ourselves when we set aside creative, life-giving impulses to serve the “shoulds, musts, and ought to” we tell ourselves. The transformative energies of our psyche/soul too easily get enslaved in the mundane. We end up living according to ideals we hold in our head instead of from the essence of our being. Without realizing it, we imprison ourselves in life-draining ways of being in relationship to our selves and others. We end up playing roles instead of being who we are in the moment. We know this is happening when we feel put upon, used, and helpless to do anything to change our situation. Joseph gives us a beautiful example of how to move out of the state of imprisonment. We hear it expressed in his statement to his brothers, “do not be distressed…it was God…” Joseph acted with confidence in his knowing as he interpreted the dreams of the prison guards, then Pharaoh. He stood with himself even when imprisoned. He used his skills; he did not let go of his connection to God. As we consciously stand with our selves by using all of what we know, we begin to move out of imprisonment. We may banish parts of ourselves through denial or repression, but we have to be willing to say what’s so for us (even when bits of our self are hostile to us, like Joseph’s brothers were hostile to him). In all aspects of our selves, the larger whole we are—God Within—keeps moving us towards wholeness and integration. Our call is to stand with all of who we are by utilizing our inner resources in every situation. Inner Reflection Where do you feel imprisoned? What are the inner processes of thoughts, feelings, and sensations that keep you trapped? How can you stand fully with yourself in these places? What might you say? Do? How can you support yourself in cultivating Joseph’s attitude that God is in all circumstances of your life—inner and outer? Ask God Within to give you strength to be all that you are in service of your soul.

Hosea 6:6, Wanted: Mercy and Loving-Kindness, Not Sacrifice Hosea 6:6 “For I desire mercy and not sacrifice, and the knowledge of God more than burnt offerings.” (King James Version) “For I delight in loving-kindness, and not sacrifice; and the knowledge of God more than burnt-offerings. (Darby Bible Translation) When we begin the church season of Lent, many people identify what they want to give up in preparation for the birth of new life that Easter brings. The practice is steeped in the idea of sacrifice as procuring a connection to God. Hosea’s words offer a different approach. Hosea proclaims God’s desire for us to cultivate loving-kindness and knowledge of God over sacrifices and burnt offerings. Imagine a practice or discipline of cultivating loving-kindness and getting to know God in all of our encounters (with self, other people, and the Divine Other we call God). Loving-kindness opens our heart to see the presence of God Within in all we are, say, do, and encounter. We will have to make sacrifices to practice mercy and to experience knowledge of God. We’ll have to give up judgment, hatred, denigration, exclusivity, self-righteousness, superiority, inferiority, arrogance, passivity, confusion, zealousness, fear, and a host of other attitudes and feelings that separate us from aspects of our selves and others. Our tendency is to try to get rid of these feelings by denial, self-recrimination, repression, or displacement (onto others). However, we have a better option. We can sacrifice problematic feelings automatically as we cultivate loving-kindness. By focusing on mercy and compassion, we say “no” to the opposites that show up to usurp their place. We get to choose, repeatedly, to practice loving-kindness and find God in whatever states of feeling, sensation, or emotion we are having. A merciful attitude towards our self opens us to ask God Within to see the seed of the Divine Self in the other (that which is not us). Every encounter within our body-mind or in the outer environment is an opportunity to receive further knowledge of God. God wants to be known by us. The crux of the Christian tradition is about personal relationship with God. To have a personal relationship is to know and to be known. The knowing comes from embodied experience that arises from our cellular consciousness. In an attempt to make sense of our felt experience, intellectual understanding, concepts, or ideas arise. But the knowledge of God that arises from the felt experience is far greater than the intellect can convey. The mystics tell us this time and time again. Mercy and loving-kindness radiate compassion. Compassion offers acceptance, not judgment; heart-felt kindness, not platitudes; authenticity, not false niceness. The Dalai Lama in The Compassionate Life (2003, p. 17) writes, “In the Buddhist tradition, compassion and love are seen as two aspects of the same thing. Compassion is the wish for another human being to be free from suffering; love is wanting them to have happiness. “ Our choice to practice mercy and loving-kindness leads us on the path for new life. As we hold a desire to be free from suffering and to have happiness, we open to the knowledge of God Within that can lead us on the path. The path is one of mercy towards self and others that opens us to know God. Inner Reflection I invite you to set a Lenten practice to cultivate loving-kindness and knowledge of God. Identify three actions (attitudes, thoughts, activities, etc.) you can take to develop compassion towards self and others. Write down the biggest obstacles (such as, resentments, fears, past history) to being merciful to yourself and others. Identify three ways of supporting yourself in reaching for compassion. Set daily sacred intention to act with support to reach for mercy and knowledge of God.

James 3:14-17, Wisdom James 3:17, “But the wisdom from above is in the first place pure; and then peace-loving, considerate, and open to reason; it is straightforward and sincere, rich in mercy and in the kindly deeds that are its fruit.” I’m often asked, “How do I know which internal voice is the voice of God Within, my Higher Self?” I answer, the voice of God Within is the Wisdom voice that speaks quietly, sometimes without words. It is never harsh, critical, punitive, or shaming. It usually comes as a felt sense with one or two words, or a simple phrase. It conveys a purity of heart where we feel inner peace. It’s affirming of life in its totality; not loyal to one specific, momentary emotion or thought. It brings an energetic charge that moves us to think, feel, and act according to its guidance. The author of James offers a concise description of wisdom that can clarify which voice is the inner Wisdom voice. He begins by noting “the wisdom from above is in the first place pure.” He describes wisdom that emanates from the Divine, not the wisdom of the world, or the wisdom of unconscious, one-sided impulses and emotions. On the Kabbalistic Tree of Life, Wisdom (Chokmah) is the second emanation of the Divine essence flowing into the soul of humanity and the world soul. It is an extension of the Crown (Kether)—the Limitless Light that is the Beginning of the Whirlings (of life), the prima materia or primary substance of all creation. Pure wisdom is received, not created by intellectual gymnastics, adapted prejudices, or collective convention. Wise men and women throughout the ages have been called fools. Pure wisdom usually prompts the receiver to quietly follow a different path from the conventional. The author of James says that Wisdom is peace-loving. Wisdom doesn’t seek to bring another up short, to create conflict, or start disagreements. It is “considerate and open to reason”. Wisdom wants connection and dialogue. When Inner Wisdom speaks, it invites the ego or self-conscious “I’ to relationship. The Western Mystery Tradition describes Wisdom as the Universal Mind or Divine Essence turning inward. The movement invites relationship between the ego and Inner Wisdom (God Within). We often experience this connection as insight—seeing “into” a situation, behavior, relational dynamic, problem, form, etc. Wisdom moves us from outside, surface driven ideas to subtle, invisible energies inherent in the forms. We all sense these but tend to dismiss them as we cannot “prove” them with physical senses. We can lose connection to Wisdom by doubting, dismissing, or poo-pooing what we know in our gut. When we listen, we experience Wisdom as “straight-forwarded and sincere”. It doesn’t argue back or demean oppositional ideas. It stays its course as a quiet current of energy within us. Aligning with it, we experience “mercy and kindly deeds”. Our inner world bestows riches and support that include vitality, compassion, strength, beauty, balance, at-onement with ourselves. These gifts flow outward as we live from a deep connection to the source of Wisdom, God Within. When we live from the purity of who we are as a child of God, we can let others be who they are. By being who we are, we are accepting and considerate of whom others are. We don’t have a need to make them who or what we want. We are able to see together, to dialogue, when there are differences instead of creating conflict. Wisdom leads to acceptance and integration of varied desires, impulses, sensations, thoughts, and feelings we have. The result is the ability to be straightforward and sincere about who we are. We give up hiding from our selves. We express an attitude that is “rich in mercy and in kindly deeds” as we interact with ourselves and others. Inner Reflection and Outer Action Create a checklist of the qualities of Wisdom described in James and how you understand these to manifest. Check your guiding self-talk throughout the day, and in contemplative practices, with the list. Listen beneath the chatterbox and adaptive, ego ideals to connect with the Wisdom Voice inherent in all you experience. Act with the energy Wisdom brings.

John 1:1–18, Incarnation—Embodying Your Self John 1:14, “So the Word became flesh; he came to dwell among us, and we saw his glory, such glory as befits the Father’s only Son, full of grace and truth.” In reference to the birth of Christ in the man Jesus, the Book of John says, “The Word became flesh…to dwell among us.” “To dwell among us.” “Became flesh.” Feel into the power and substance of dwelling in your flesh. This is what Incarnation means. To incarnate is to become human. The path of becoming human is to embody our essence—the Divine nature that is the substance of who we are. The Self/God Within dwells in our bodies. God Within manifests in every aspect of who we are. We need to become conscious of what goes on in our bodies as information from God Within. Many of us were taught the body is sinful. We learned to mistrust and condemn the body. We were told that the instincts of hunger, sexuality, movement, self-reflection, and creativity were bad. Our emotions and sensations were often met with disapproval and judgments. These responses thwarted the flow of the life force in us. We internalized the faulty perceptions and meanings that disconnected us from conscious awareness of our body. Disembodiment, not incarnation, was the result. We have to accept that the body is the temple of God to incarnate fully. This means accepting all that arises within our body is a manifestation of God Within. Our instincts, our emotions, our sensations, and our intuitions are an expression of God Within. They can be expressed in service of life or against life. In the process of hearing what God Within is saying through our bodies, we develop discernment. We do not act out every impulse or phantasy we have. We live in conscious relationship to them. Conscious relationship allows us to find the life-giving, healthy expressions of our emotions and impulses. In the process, we open our personality as an expression of “the grace and truth” of God Within. With the grace and truth of God Within, we cultivate attitudes, feelings, and actions that express the truth of our Divine nature. Our reflexive, automatic responses shift to fuller, more authentic expressions of God Within. This is a gift that comes from living in our bodies. As adults on the spiritual path of Incarnation, we need to relate to our bodies as expressions of God Within. Imagine responding to whatever you’re experiencing by asking: What is God Within saying to me through this? How is it informing me to move with myself in the world? How might I act on the body’s information in a life-giving way? We affirm the central act of the Christian faith—God becoming (hu)man, The Word made flesh—when we live in our bodies. Incarnation happens. We know others and ourselves as living, moving, creating manifestations of God full of grace and glory. Inner Reflection What do you believe about your body in relationship to God Within? What stops you from living in conscious relationship to what happens inside of you? What supports you in knowing your body as the temple of God? Write an affirmation or statement of belief as your sacred intention for incarnating—letting God Within manifest in and through your body and all its expressions.

John 3:1-8, Being Born Again John 3:3, “Jesus answered, ‘In truth, in very truth I tell you, unless a man has been born over again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.’” The esteemed Pharisee Nicodemus approached Jesus with acknowledgment of his being “a teacher sent by God.” (verse 2) As I ponder Jesus’ response (quoted above), I feel the emphasis on being born over in order “to see the kingdom of God.” Jesus pointed to experiencing God in one’s life, not acquiring ideas about God. Fundamental religions often talk about being born again. They offer the familiar, prescribed formula of salvation as the way. My experiences and work with people tell me that being born again is more often a slow, personalized process forged through struggle to know God Within. People who are born again usually start the journey of transformation because they realize they have outgrown their current life, shaped by roles and ego ideals. They are prompted by God Within to shed the old skin. I’m reminded of the snakeskin my little dog GeeGee and I found recently. The skin was lodged underneath a ground level branch of an azalea. The branch was approximately one and a quarter inch in diameter with sharp stubs on the bottom. It was a tight squeeze for even a 6’ black snake. I was curious about its placement, so I did some research. I learned several facts that seeded my thinking about being born again. The snake sheds its skin because its body grows, but the skin does not. If it does not shed the old skin, the body’s flesh will be constricted. This will harm the snake. The old skin also carries parasites that will attack the snake’s larger body. It is important that the snake be undisturbed while shedding so it removes the entire old skin. Snakes shed their skin every 4 to 12 months. (I had no idea it happened this often.) Their eyes become blurred obscuring their vision. Within 2-3 days, the snake finds an abrasive place to rub its head until it tears open the old skin. It then pulls itself through that tight, narrow place. This explained the snakeskin under the ground level azalea branch. The snake is driven by unhindered, instinctive prompts to shed its skin. Our instincts are often hampered to our detriment due to familial, institutional, religious, and cultural teachings. The instinctive urge to grow, to individuate—to live one’s wholeness—is thwarted by internalized guilt, shame, and fear. These are some of the abrasive emotions and undesirable body feelings we pull ourselves out from under in order to live a new life. The ego surrenders to the experience by consciously choosing to move through the feelings instead of repressing or disowning them. Psychologically, being born again happens as we deal with our personal history, learned roles, and ego ideals. We differentiate the ego or conscious self we are from the learned patterns we’ve adopted, and the larger Self/God Within we are. We willingly align with new energies that emerge from God Within. Negative states of consciousness are replaced by energizing, life sustaining feelings and thoughts. We shed the old skin to make room for the embodying, larger Self/God Within. Our equivalent of the snake’s eyes blurring is confusion, misunderstanding, lostness, and disconnects. These feelings alert us to see we have grown into a different body. We no longer fit with previously held beliefs, ideologies, relationships, world views, lifestyle habits, or familial ways of being. We intuitively know that some part of us will die or become ill if we do not shed the old skin. We feel the abrasive edge of the conflict between our new, more whole self and who we’ve been. The ego chooses where to align. Snakes were once considered gods because they shed their skins and kept living. I recall Jesus saying to his disciples, “Ye shall become as gods.” We have the blessing of living more than one life while in the same (but bigger, more expansive) body. It’s our choice to grow or stay constricted. The first leads to new life; the latter to our detriment. What do you choose? Inner Reflection and Outer Action Where are you feeling constricted? What do you know about your personal history, emotions, and outer relationships at play? Breathe deeply and connect to the instinctive prompt to embody more of God Within. What images, ideas, or desires arise? Write these down. What do they reflect about your larger Self? Commit to moving through the tight, abrasive places to shed the old skin and live into the new.

John 7:37–52, Living Waters Within Verses 37b–38: “Jesus stood and cried aloud, ‘if anyone is thirsty let him come to me; whoever believes in me, let him drink.’ As Scripture says, ‘Streams of living water shall flow out from within him.’ He was speaking of the Spirit…” How often we look outside ourselves for something to satisfy our thirst. It’s right to reach for literal water to satisfy our physical thirst. Yet, our emotional, mental, and spiritual thirsts require “water” not physical in nature. On the spiritual plane, the water needed is the Spirit—the Inner Divine that flows through us and sustains us. Imagine and feel the beauty of the image of “Streams of living water flow(ing) out from within (you).” The streams are the flow of Spirit coming through our connection to Self/God Within. From an archetypal perspective (meaning as a universal template or blueprint), Jesus the Christ is the point of connection within psyche to the Divine Essence. The image of Jesus standing and crying aloud symbolizes the Self/God Within that is always present, calling our ego/self to stay connected and “drink.” The “drink” we receive is the Spirit that is our libido/life force. Our impulses, affects, desires, sensations, longings, etc. carry the streams of living water that Spirit pours into our body and mind. The sensations, intuitions, feelings, desires, or thoughts that flow from Spirit may feel threatening to our self/ego and current way of being. The instinctive, reflexive nature may activate a fight or flight response. Body and mind may block the free flow of libido/Spirit with forgetfulness, confusion, numbness, apathy, or rigid patterns of muscular tension. Our ego/self may deny, dismiss, and rationalize away the promptings of the Self/God WIthin. We may cling to learned reasons and past experiences that negate or demonize the promptings of Spirit. Thus, we remain stagnate, dry and parched, even though the living waters are within. We, with our ego/self, can consciously choose to receive and ingest, to relate to and integrate, and to act in sync with our libido/life force. When we are thirsty—feeling parched and dry in the realm of feelings, thoughts, or desires—we come to know Spirit as we are enlivened, energized from a deep, still place within. We have a standing invitation from the Self/God Within to drink, as Spirit is always present in the manifestations (sensations, intuitions, thoughts, feelings, etc.) of our libido/life force. Inner Reflection I invite you to meditate on the image of the Self/God Within calling you to move with your life force. Feel into the stream of living water within you. What are the trickles of excitement, anticipation, eagerness, interest, etc? Set an intention to be open to the Self/God Within that satisfies your thirst for life. Be courageous and leave the ways you walk “the procession of the living dead.” Step into the streams of living water of your Spirit.

John 8:12–20, Pass No Judgment Verse 15a: (Jesus said) “You judge by worldly standards, I pass judgment on no man.” This scripture is Jesus’ statement of his practice of the injunction, “Judge not and be ye not judged.” Most of us who grew up in the church can easily quote this verse. We usually remember it when we remind someone else not to judge. We often fail to apply it to our selves. We tend to be attached to our judgments and feel entitled to evaluate another’s actions and heart. We can be particularly vicious when we feel wronged by the other. After all, we feel as if we are right and they are wrong. We do not feel safe as a result of the other’s separate, different behavior. Judgment is our (errant) self-defense attack. In the referenced scripture passage from John, the Pharisees are questioning the validity of Jesus declaring, “I am the light of the world.” They respond, “You are witness in our own cause; your testimony is not valid.” [Verse 14] Jesus is speaking from his experience and knowing. He is stating his truth. The Pharisees do not accept his experience as valid. They do not dialogue with him or attempt to stay in relationship to understand what he means. We have all had experiences where what we shared of our self was met with another person’s disavowal. They may have told us that our feelings, thoughts, and experiences were wrong, not true, or even sinful. They might have veiled their judgment in negative adjectives that made us feel bad about our selves. We might have responded in kind or been the initiator in such an exchange. Jesus shows us another way. Jesus met the skeptical Pharisees without passing judgment on them. He did not lash out at the Pharisees, turn on them, or pass judgment on them. He restated his truth in different words. He did not argue or try to get the Pharisees to agree with him. He stood with his embodied knowing. He practiced discernment instead of judgment. Judgment carries a dualistic charge of right or wrong, good or bad, acceptable or unacceptable. It invites and even cultivates guilt and shame. It wants to get another to conform to its assessment. It is subtly manipulative. It pushes the other away when the other is different than we want or expect. Discernment is a non-partial assessment of what is. It clarifies the energies at work in any given moment. It identifies the nuances of a situation. It sees potential outcomes. It has a quality of equanimity and self-respect that does not evoke guilt or shame. It invites a mutually shared space where two people with separate experiences (feelings, thoughts, responses) can meet in a relational way. We need discernment, not judgment. All of our relations, outer and inner world, need space where two different perspectives can meet. Dialogue can occur in a shared space of respect for and openness to that which is different or “not me.” Jesus stood with himself in the presence of those who were unlike him. He stayed focused on his inner knowing or felt experience. He did not respond to judgment with judgment. May we follow his example in the presence of that which feels alien or “not me” in both our inner and outer lives. Inner Reflection Where, when, and whom have you judged in the last twenty-four hours? Week? Month? What fears were behind the judgment? How can you support yourself to know the truth of your psyche/soul regardless of how others respond? Ask God Within to help you feel the strength of your soul and to live it in all your relations.

John 8:33–47, Follow the Inner Divine Verse 38: “I am revealing in words what I saw in my Father’s presence; and you are revealing in action what you learned from your father.” In this Scripture, Jesus makes a distinction to the Pharisees between following God the Father and following the earthly father. While in a physical body, we experience the Divine Father as the inner dynamic, stimulating, life-generating force we often call Spirit. Symbolically, the Pharisees represent our ego/self when we follow the learned “should, must, ought to” messages of the outer world (represented by the earthly father). Like the Pharisees, we are often attached to what we have experienced and inherited from the past. We can be convinced of its “rightness” or resigned to its presence. We may hold on to it even though something more life giving is present in the now. All of us have struggled to change a behavior, to shift a mood, to cultivate a different belief, or to relate more truthfully. We must deal with the reality that our body and mind, the vehicle through which psyche/soul flows, operates out of patterns. Our automatic body functions—breathing, digestion, heartbeat—go on because of patterns or repetitive paths the energy takes. Our emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies also function in this way. Some patterns allow for a free flow of our libido/life force; some patterns stop or divert our Divine Essence to unhealthy ways. The unhealthy ways usually have arisen based on the meaning and interpretation we have given to past experiences. The sense we make of our body sensations, emotions, thoughts, and feelings are conditioned by the outer world. The resulting reflexive body sensations, emotions, thoughts, and feelings may or may not allow for a healthy, free-flowing expression of the Divine life force through us. Carl Jung once wrote we cannot solve a problem in the same state of consciousness in which it was conceived. When we want to change something, we need a connection to the Inner Divine that will pull us beyond the repetitive, conditioned patterns. By seeking to know the larger Self/God Within, we open to moments of feeling and knowing the Divine authority within us. It is the Self that has the power, compassion, and energy that can shift the ego and the adaptive, conditioned self. Inner Reflection Where and how you are loyal to the learned patterns of the past? Identify undesired repetitive experiences to see the “father” patterns. Where are you open to the new, life-creating movement of the Inner Divine Spirit? Where do you sense a new way, the presence of the Divine Self, but stay attached to the old? In whatever way your Inner Divine Spirit leads, set intention to follow the guidance and authority of the Inner Divine.

John 12:1–8, Nurture Your Inner Mary Verse 5, 8: [Judas said] “Why was this perfume not sold for thirty pounds and given to the poor?” [Jesus said] “Let her keep it till the day when she prepares for my burial; for you have the poor among you always, but you will not always have me.” How often we can be like Judas! We get focused and fixated on the value of the material realm to the detriment of honoring the Divine Within. Outer needs and other’s demands can take priority while we ignore our inner desire to relish in the presence of the Inner Divine Spirit. Considered symbolically, today’s Scripture offers an image of an inner dynamic with which we all struggle. In the story, Mary is anointing the feet of Jesus with oil and wiping them with her hair. What a beautiful image of love! Mary extends her self, her libido/life force, and her resources (oil) to connect with Jesus. She does not seem shy or embarrassed about her desire or feeling. No matter how non-rational her actions may seem to others, Mary expresses her passion for Jesus. Mary symbolizes the receptive and magnetic energy within us that nurtures and treasures the expressions of our souls. We experience this energy when we feel ardor (being drawn towards something) and we act. In the moments of knowing and feeling the presence of God Within, this part of us instinctively moves to connect to the Self. This part of us prompts us to take the time, energy, and resources to actively value, honor, and relate to the Inner Divine. This part of us listens to the “still small voice of God” throughout our normal daily activities and helps us pause to connect. When our inner Mary shows up, the following kinds of things may happen. We take time out of a busy day to feel the beauty of nature and offer a prayer of gratitude. We let go of the set schedule or agenda so we can share a cup of tea with a friend. We may even allow ourselves a creative expression (dance, art, woodworking, baking, movement) instead of pushing through the “to do” list. Whatever the action, we choose to move in a way that relates to and honors God Within. Judas represents the outer-focused, rational attitude that does not see beyond surface appearances and externally determined value. When we dismiss feelings, (gut) knowing, and passion, our inner “Judas” is at work. We lose sight of and connection to the Self/God Within as we value only the outer world and necessities of survival. We have no room for joyous, playful expression of our libido/life force. We deem passions that connect us to the Divine wasteful and selfish (as they are the poor and needy)! Our focus stays with lack. We miss the opportunity to know in our gut the presence of the Divine. Jesus’ response can serve as a guiding principle for meeting our inner Judas and Mary. In the historical context, we know that Jesus was referencing his impending death. Symbolically, for our inner world and felt experiences, he states a truth about our experience while in the body. We have moments of feeling we are in the presence of the Divine, but the feeling does not last forever. When we have a conscious awareness of the Divine, we need to tend it by taking time to focus, relate, and treasure the knowing. Through our spiritual disciplines, we seek to strengthen and increase the frequency and conscious knowing of the presence of the Self/God Within. Inner Reflection Where has your inner “Judas” been interfering with connecting with the Self/God Within? How do you stop yourself from living the connection to your soul? Where do you feel the love and desire (that Mary symbolizes) for your own Inner Divine? Open to knowing in an embodied way the presence of God Within.

John 15:9–17, Remove the Filters Verses 12–15a: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than this, that a man should lay down his life for his friends.” Psychologically, to lay down our life for another means to let go of whom we think we are in the relationship and open to what we are experiencing in the moment, including how we are impacting the other. Our ego consciousness—who we think we are and how we perceive ourselves—is only one aspect of the Self that is present. To every interaction, we bring all aspects of our psyche—what we know and what we don’t know about ourselves (our conscious and unconscious selves). Love is relational. Whenever we feel love, there is always an object/recipient of the love. The object may be another person, a pet, a feeling, an activity, nature, or a thing. Regardless, love binds. It draws us towards someone or something. It connects. Carl Jung wrote the “need for human connection,” what he calls kinship libido, is always present. We want human connection so much that we filter, censor, and edit who we are to feel acceptable to others. Our ego/sense of self survives by disowning parts of us (e.g., thoughts, emotions, talents) that don’t coincide with who we think we should be according to external standards (e.g., family, church, the other person). Denied aspects of ourselves tend to become filters through which we experience others. We end up attributing our unconscious thoughts and feelings to someone else. We project them onto another. Think about how the movie projector works. Our unconscious psyche is the machine and the other person is the screen. To lay down our life for our friends means giving up the projections and owning what’s within us. We have to lay down our ideas of who we are and consciously relate to all we are. This means paying attention and relating to whatever is going on inside us. By doing this, we become capable of doing the same for another person. Inner Reflection To begin to reconnect with disowned or repressed aspects of your psyche/soul, pay attention to feelings of unrest and dis-ease that mask guilt and shame that show up when thoughts, emotions, desires begin to stir. Practice extending the arms of love* to whatever shows up. *In The Four Fold Way, Angeles Arrien names the arms of love as acknowledgment, acceptance, recognition, validation, and gratitude.

1 Kings 13:1–10 (11–25), Listen to the Voice of God Within Verses 16–18: “ ‘I cannot go back with you or enter your house’, said the other [prophet]; ‘I can neither eat nor drink with you in this place, for it was told me by the word of the Lord: “You shall not eat and drink nothing there….”’ And the old man said to him, ‘I am also a prophet, as you are; and an angel commanded me by the word of the Lord to bring you home with me to eat and drink with me.’” To whom do we listen? Whose guidance do we follow? This Scripture highlights the necessity of listening and following the word of God that comes to us directly, not through another. The first prophet was clear on the message he had received from God. He let himself be influenced by another, also a prophet. The second prophet asserted his relationship to God in stating his request for the first prophet to dine. The first prophet deferred to the second prophet’s “message” from God and abandoned what he knew through his direct experience of God. The result was his death for not following the voice of God within. How often do we know deep within our gut the direction our Self/God Within wants us to take, but we abandon it to follow another? Carl Jung writes about kinship libido as “our need for human connection.” The need for human connection overshadows our need for connection to the Self/God Within to the degree we had early-life experiences that betrayed, shamed, and guilt-ed us when we spontaneously expressed our spirit. As a result, we may have patterns of giving up the connection to our Self/God Within, as we fear losing connection to another person (i.e, being ignored, shunned, ridiculed, and persecuted, hurt in some way) or being seen in a negative way (i.e., arrogant, aloof, selfish). Whenever we listen to another person over the voice of God Within, we experience a death of self/Self as the true us does not get embodied in word and action. We sometimes defer to another person’s knowing because we do not trust or discern our own inner guidance. Each of us must develop a conscious relationship to the ego-Self axis, theologically known as the self/ego living in relationship to the Holy Spirit. The axis is the point of connection between our conscious self/ego and our larger Self/God Within. Various spiritual disciplines and systems of understanding are roadmaps and tools for the endeavor. Inner Reflection I invite you to reflect on how you discern the voice of God Within. What are the disciplines and systems of understanding that facilitate hearing the voice? What blocks it? Ask the Self/God Within to guide you to the embodied knowing you most need at this time in your life. Be alert for those who offer their “knowing” to replace your own. Be courageous and stand with what you know to be true for you!

Philippians 4:19, Prayer and Thanksgiving “The Lord is near; have no anxiety, but in everything make your requests known to God in prayer and petition with thanksgiving. Then the peace of God, which is beyond our utmost understanding, will keep guard over your hearts and your thoughts, in Christ Jesus.” Clients often show up in my office plagued by some anxiety. They want the anxiety gone, now. When I say we need to listen for what the anxiety is telling them, they are disappointed. Their response echoes a pervasive intolerance for emotions, as they have been pathologized in our culture. This attitude undermines the messages from the Self that emotions, including anxiety, communicate. When we listen deeply, we can hear the messages. Listening deeply is a dialogue where we ask for clarity and receive what comes with open-heartedness. Open-heartedness is a traveling companion with thanksgiving. The writer of Philippians reminds readers of this connection between hearts and thoughts and thanksgiving. He invites us to pray—to communicate with the Divine—by pairing requests with gratitude. Pray as if you already have what’s needed. The gratitude shifts consciousness from a focus on what’s lacking to resources already present. This moves the ego-self to see the larger Self that is already present. This view gets lost when unmediated anxiety arises. Unmediated anxiety pulls us into a “painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill.” To resolve anxiety, we must first identify the impending or anticipated ill. Often, what we fear is a repeat of a past painful or unpleasant situation. Our body-mind automatically reacts to a present situation based on past experiences. With gratitude, we can stand with our present day self to differentiate the adaptive voices that echo past distresses or traumas from the voice of the Self/God Within. When we look inward and dialogue with whatever is there, we consciously connect to our self. Inner dialogue goes on all the time without conscious attention. Think about the conflicting voices in your head: “I want a brownie… No, you do not. You need to lose weight.” “He’s bad for me. I can’t see him…I can’t leave him alone.” “I want something to be different…I can’t do anything different.” When we engage in inner dialogue intentionally, we are using active imagination. We carry on a conversation with a feeling by personifying it; that is, we engage the feeling as if it’s a person who can speak to us. We get to know it by asking why it’s there, what’s its purpose, what it needs from us, and what its offering us. We offer gratitude for its presence in us. By consciously engaging our inner voices or feelings, we open to understanding ourselves more fully. We build a relationship to the energies behind our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and other internal states. This facilitates a shift from anxious, problematic states to peaceful, joyous ones. Using active imagination or conscious inner dialogue is one way to offer prayer and petition with thanksgiving. Inner Reflection and Outer Action Offer gratitude for all you are in the present and your conscious connection to God Within. From this state of consciousness, practice deep listening by dialoguing with whatever emotions you are experiencing, including anxiety. Offer gratitude for their messages.

Philippians 3:13–21, Reconnect Verses 13b–14: “All I can say is this: forgetting what is behind me, and reaching out for that which lies ahead, I press towards the goal to win the prize which is God’s call to the life above, in Christ Jesus.” How much time we waste in rehashing the past! We can spin round and round wondering why, ruminating over the “if only I’d…,” beating ourselves up, tending resentments, holding onto grudges. We inadvertently nurture our feelings of guilt, shame, helplessness, and inadequacy. This Scripture reminds us of the need to focus on where we are going and to reach for the life that God Within calls us to live. Carl Jung talks about “regression in service of the Self.” In a nutshell, this means we get pulled back to the past because an energy needed for forward movement in the present is stuck. It is stuck in the affect (feeling state) connected to the past experience and then triggered when we experience the same or similar affect in the present. For example, a current feeling, say of embarrassment or rejection, taps into past feelings of embarrassment or rejection that led to a loss of self. Instead of acting and feeling the totality of the ego/self connected to the Self/God Within, we are pulled to a disconnected piece of self that has a limited feeling state. This disconnected piece traps us because it is not integrated or connected with the whole. In the moments where we relive the past, we must look to see the seed of the Self/God Within that got stuck there. The seed may be a feeling that was unexpressed or disowned, it may be a desire that was shamed and hidden, or it may be a quality or attribute that was labeled wrong. Whether we relive the past experience in our thoughts or in our actions, in our inner experiences or outer relationships, we can forget what is behind us as we reclaim and reconnect with the bit of self in the past experience. We do this by acknowledging, owning, accepting, and lovingly bearing the experience. As we bear the experience, something shifts as that which is connected to the whole is less powerful than what is separate and unbalanced. Looking ahead and reaching for the life that is the fullest expression of our soul is the work of individuation or salvation. The Self/God Within is inborn in us. The Inner Divine Spirit flows through us in every body sensation, emotion, intuition, thought, and feeling we have. When we go in self-destructive circles, we need to look for the bit of our soul that got stuck. As we reconnect with this bit, we move towards the prize of “God’s call to the life above, in Christ Jesus.” Symbolically, this means a conscious connection and union between our ego and the Self/God Within. Experiences and emotions that were unbearable when disowned and disconnected from the totality of self are bearable when connected to the whole! We are then free from the past. Inner Reflection Take a few moments to invite any lost or disconnected parts of your self/Self to come back home into your body-mind. Look to see the disowned bits of self that keep you reliving past, painful experiences. Set sacred intention to look for and go with the (alternative) expressions of the Inner Divine Spirit that will provide the needed forward-moving, life-generating action—inner and outer. Act accordingly.

Philippians 3:3b–14, Let Go Of Your Garbage Verses 7–9a: “But all such assets I have written off because of Christ. I would say more: I count everything sheer loss, because all is far outweighed by the gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I did in fact lose everything. I count it so much garbage, for the sake of gaining Christ and finding myself incorporate in him.” [written by Paul] Carl Jung writes about Christ as a symbol of the Self. In Analytical Psychology, the Self is the organizing principle of psyche (soul) that “is a part of God that God put in us, so that we can know there is a God.” When we live in conscious relationship to God Within, we are called as Paul was, to surrender our ego attachments to know the Self/God Within. Paul writes about the error of believing that externals connect us to Christ/the Self. He lists the merits he possessed as having been a pious Pharisee who was “in legal rectitude, faultless.” He then makes the statement quoted above. He is pointing out that knowledge (felt knowing, not intellectual ideas) of Christ is what matters, not adherence to prescribed formulas, laws, or ways of acting. He states he has lost everything. He has given up his identity, his raison d’être, and his previous lifestyle “for the sake of gaining Christ and finding myself incorporate in him.” Paul’s ego surrendered to the Self/God Within. When we follow externally prescribed and imposed ways of thinking, emoting, and acting, we can find ourselves on a misguided path. Paul was living in accordance with the family, religious, and societal norms into which he was born and raised. As a result, he was off track, separated from God Within. When he encountered the Christ/God Within, everything shifted. Paul realized what he held onto in the past was “garbage.” The experience of knowing the Self/God Within changes everything. In the split second encounter, we have a felt knowing of our heart and soul as one with God. Unfortunately, we often lose it just as quickly, because it differs from our ego’s standards and ideals, values and morals. The Self/God Within speaks and moves in us through our libido/life force, which we experience in our desires, longings, passions, and instinctive responses. Our willingness to encounter God in these ways is essential for our ego to be incorporated into or consciously connected to the Self/God Within. Inner Reflection Take a few moments to offer gratitude for the “garbage” you have left behind as you have followed the Inner Divine Spirit. Ask for the courage, clarity, and volition to let go of the external beliefs, structures, rules, etc. that keep you from living the truth of your heart and soul. Open to receive an experience of the Self/God Within that can carry you forward and sustain you.

Philippians 4:19, Prayer and Thanksgiving “The Lord is near; have no anxiety, but in everything make your requests known to God in prayer and petition with thanksgiving. Then the peace of God, which is beyond our utmost understanding, will keep guard over your hearts and your thoughts, in Christ Jesus.” Clients often show up in my office plagued by some anxiety. They want the anxiety gone, now. When I say we need to listen for what the anxiety is telling them, they are disappointed. Their response echoes a pervasive intolerance for emotions, as they have been pathologized in our culture. This attitude undermines the messages from the Self that emotions, including anxiety, communicate. When we listen deeply, we can hear the messages. Listening deeply is a dialogue where we ask for clarity and receive what comes with open-heartedness. Open-heartedness is a traveling companion with thanksgiving. The writer of Philippians reminds readers of this connection between hearts and thoughts and thanksgiving. He invites us to pray—to communicate with the Divine—by pairing requests with gratitude. Pray as if you already have what’s needed. The gratitude shifts consciousness from a focus on what’s lacking to resources already present. This moves the ego-self to see the larger Self that is already present. This view gets lost when unmediated anxiety arises. Unmediated anxiety pulls us into a “painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill.” To resolve anxiety, we must first identify the impending or anticipated ill. Often, what we fear is a repeat of a past painful or unpleasant situation. Our body-mind automatically reacts to a present situation based on past experiences. With gratitude, we can stand with our present day self to differentiate the adaptive voices that echo past distresses or traumas from the voice of the Self/God Within. When we look inward and dialogue with whatever is there, we consciously connect to our self. Inner dialogue goes on all the time without conscious attention. Think about the conflicting voices in your head: “I want a brownie… No, you do not. You need to lose weight.” “He’s bad for me. I can’t see him…I can’t leave him alone.” “I want something to be different…I can’t do anything different.” When we engage in inner dialogue intentionally, we are using active imagination. We carry on a conversation with a feeling by personifying it; that is, we engage the feeling as if it’s a person who can speak to us. We get to know it by asking why it’s there, what’s its purpose, what it needs from us, and what its offering us. We offer gratitude for its presence in us. By consciously engaging our inner voices or feelings, we open to understanding ourselves more fully. We build a relationship to the energies behind our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and other internal states. This facilitates a shift from anxious, problematic states to peaceful, joyous ones. Using active imagination or conscious inner dialogue is one way to offer prayer and petition with thanksgiving. Inner Reflection and Outer Action Offer gratitude for all you are in the present and your conscious connection to God Within. From this state of consciousness, practice deep listening by dialoguing with whatever emotions you are experiencing, including anxiety. Offer gratitude for their messages.

Psalm 144:4, Impermanence of Form and Resurrection of Essence Psalm 144:4, “Man is like vapor, his days are as a shadow that passes away.” Revelation 21:1, “And I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away; and the sea was no more.” For months, I have been pondering the idea of impermanence. I’ve been reading Ernest Becker’s The Denial of Death, researching Buddhist teachings on impermanence, and perusing the Bible for understanding. I’ve contemplated our lives being “like vapor” “that passes away”. Oxford Dictionary defines vapor as “a substance diffused or suspended in air; especially one normally liquid or solid.” Vapor starts with something more tangible—a liquid or solid that is experienced through touch. My musings led me to how our essence takes different forms. The scripture from Revelation offers the imagery of a new heaven and earth once “the first” has passed away. Essence or spirit has re-solidified. Forms are impermanent and change, but the vapor—the spirit—continues. We know that our containers—jobs, relationships, habit patterns, beliefs, interests—change throughout the life cycle. The fundamentals of psyche—our heart’s desires—are constant, but the outer manifestation differs. Long-term friendships and intimate relationships are one example of how spirit reaches transcends a particular time, place, and form. Christianity espouses the cycle of birth, death, and resurrection. The primary church celebrations mark these events in the life of Jesus. They affirm the reality that death is the impermanence of form, but not the impermanence of essence. I wonder if we need to spell this out more often. If we truly embraced that new life only comes on the heels of death, I imagine it would make living through normal life changes less terrifying. We know from science that our cells have a life span. Our body automatically sloughs off dead cells and new ones are born. This cycle of birth, death, and resurrection (regeneration) keeps us alive. Our essence/spirit continues to flow through the process. This also happens automatically (if unobstructed) in our emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies. I work with people every day who are stuck in deadening thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviors. Their bodies continue to regenerate, but their mind doesn’t. They want something to be different, but ego is afraid to let old, familiar ways die. They fear their essence will disappear forever instead of returning to watery, earthly states of new feelings, thoughts, and actions. To practice birth, death and resurrection, we have to tolerate, and begin to trust constant change and flux. Most of us want stability from outer situations that do not vary. We want the familiar and predictable. We close ourselves off to rebirth as we are afraid of the destruction that is necessary for rebirth/growth. The needed destruction is often a simple change in one’s daily routine, an alignment of time with priorities, or a setting of boundaries in relationships. Major shifts in consciousness may require bigger destructions such as career changes, relationship losses, divorces, or lifestyle changes. These feel annihilating when we forget that resurrection—the appearance of our new self–only happens after death/loss. As we remember that resurrection/new life comes after death/loss, we have courage to grow. We willingly give up destructive habit patterns, self-negating thoughts, demeaning relationships, and ego control. We trust that such losses are doorways to new beginnings. The vapor that fades away returns in the new heaven and earth of our body-mind. Inner Reflection and Outer Action Where are you afraid of something dying in your life? What is the Inner Divine Spirit, the larger Self, wanting you to express in a new way? Imagine how you might live into this. What emotions, thoughts, values, and impulses arise? What action can you take in this direction? Identify how to support yourself and take the next step forward into your fullness.

Psalm 139, A Winter Solstice Reflection Verse 12, “Darkness is no darkness for thee and night is luminous as day; to thee both dark and light are one.” The psalmist declares that God sees dark and light as one. There is no difference in the two to the divine eyes. Seeming opposites exist as a unified whole. I am reminded of the alchemical or mystical principles of polarity and rhythm. Everything exists with its opposite; and psychic energy, aka life force or spirit, fluctuates between the two states. They are two sides of the same coin, so to speak. Everything is on a continuum of manifestation that includes darkness and light and all its derivatives, including conscious and unconscious, spirit and matter, body-mind and head-mind. I have experienced the life giving reality of darkness holding light through a divorce, training to be a Jungian analyst, moving geographically, and marrying a 2nd time. Each of those experiences had moments where I, with ego, could not see the outcome. I moved in the dark, unknown territories by taking the one step forward I knew to take. In ways that I cannot adequately describe, I felt God Within guiding me through the darkness. Light was there. It just wasn’t light or consciousness from the rational, logical, outer world, goal driven ego. Our culture has a bias that the Divine is only present in light, bright, joyful, active, and happy emotions, or in intellectual formulations devoid of feeling. We are all recovering from this one sided view. We are called to reclaim our heart and gut as centers of consciousness (synonymous with light) equal to the intellect. We are realizing collectively how our one-sidedness hurts us. It has led to a dismissal of the body-mind as the temple of God. I feel passionate about the Christian message of incarnation—“the Word became flesh.” We need Logos and Eros, rational and non-rational, thinking and sensation, feeling and intuition, body-mind and head-mind. The opposites inform one another. They cannot function properly without the counterbalance. The Christmas story reminds us of the place of counterbalance as the divine is birthed. Joseph and Mary went against collective norms. The baby Jesus was born in meager circumstances. The three went into exile to protect the new life. The actions were opposite of the expectations, mores, and customs of the day. Mary and Joseph seemed to know that God was in the dark, unknown, and unexplainable. God Within is present in all we experience. Our body-mind, head-mind, spirit, and psyche are designed to live in harmony. They flow into and through one another to create the self that we are. The disharmony, discord, and conflict we experience is usually due to one-sided emotions, feelings, beliefs, and opinions. The way out is looking for the light in the other side—the disowned emotion, the dismissed feeling, the opposing beliefs, or another perspective. The larger Self, God Within, is able to see the whole. Our ego can stay attached to roles, societal mores, theology, theory, etc.; or our ego can look to God Within to see the whole of darkness that is light and light that is darkness. Let the psalmist’s words be a mantra to pull you towards a unified consciousness. Inner Reflection When have you experienced moving through darkness in your personal life with a sense of the light inherent, though unseen? Where do you feel lost in the dark now? Where do you feel light? What might the two say to one another? Ask God Within to show you the light within the dark and the dark within the light. Track your experience in your journal, by drawing a mandala, or through body movements. Use the psalmist’s words as a mantra for meditation to seed the unconscious with the Divine mystery of Oneness.

Psalm 82, Connect To the Self Verse 1: “God takes his stand in the court of heaven to deliver judgment among the gods themselves.” Some Biblical scholars see the reference to “gods” as a mythological motif borrowed from the Canaanite pantheon. Others understand “gods” to be a reference to human judges. From the perspective of Analytical Psychology, the word “gods” aptly names the numinous archetypal energies we experience first through our affects. Archetypes are universal templates that carry a specific feeling tone and blueprint for how the body senses, intuits, feels, and responds in its presence. Due to the unconscious origin of archetypes, the ego often feels overwhelmed, knocked off balance, or swept away by them. Maturation involves learning to meet, name, relate, and respond intentionally to the archetypal energies showing up in us through our instincts. Carl Jung notes the psychological standpoint names five main categories of instinctive factors: hunger, sexuality, activity, reflection, and creativity. Children need help in learning how to name, understand, and make sense of these instincts in relationship to themselves and others. To the degree this understanding does not happen, we learn to resist the impact of the archetypes (which show up as affects and impulses) by holding various patterns of muscular tension and limited emotional expression. Our fear of what we feel in the body-mind as unbidden sensations, intuitions, thoughts, and feelings results in holding on to what we learned we are “supposed to” feel, think, do, etc. Wherever we experience problematic recurring muscular tension or emotional and relational loops, an archetypal energy has been blocked. For instance, tension in our legs may hold blocked aggression that can move us toward what we want. It may be blocked out of guilt or shame that what we want is not acceptable according to our learned beliefs or the collective. Chronic tightness in the upper torso may correspond to closed-heartedness towards self and others created by past, painful love experiences. We sometimes feel helpless in the face of our body-mind responses. Within our psyche, there is a center, a core that Jung called the Self. The Self is an extension of God, the Divine Essence that holds us together on every plane—physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. It corresponds theologically to God, and may be seen as the representation or manifestation of God in our body-mind. The Self is the totality of who we are; it contains all aspects of the self/ego, body, and mind. When we reach for the Self, we begin to connect to the totality of who we are rather than to the momentary feeling, thought, desire, etc. We realize an Inner Divine Spirit manifests in the Intelligence of the Self, sorts the energies of our psyche, and “delivers judgment among the gods (archetypal affects).” We are continually choosing whether to seek and connect to the Self or to stay attached to the smallness of self/ego. Consciousness is contra naturam; it goes against nature. We must be intentional and deliberate to cultivate the ego-Self axis (an image that depicts the connection through which ego and Self dialogue). We do this by: Developing the capacity for self-awareness in the moment Paying attention to our embodied experience Listening for the message of sensations or emotions Exploring the imagery of our waking and night dreams Honoring the validity of our impulses and desires Being open to what is emerging within us Accepting the non-rational, mysterious, and unknown aspects of the Self/self, Asking the Self for guidance and transformation. Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to reach for the Self/God Within by verbalizing on paper or out loud the ego’s concerns and desires at this time. Ask for guidance in seeing and knowing what is and for how to move in life-giving ways. Sit silently and listen. Be open throughout the day to new thoughts, feelings, impulses, or desires—openings—that may be the Inner Divine Spirit’s response to your seeking.

Psalm 69, Rescue Me Verses 14–17: “Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink; let me be rescued from the muddy depths, so that no flood may carry me away, no abyss swallow me up, no deep close over me. Answer me, O Lord, in the goodness of thy unfailing love, turn towards me in thy great affection. I am thy servant, do not hide thy face from me.” Psalm 69 is a song of lament probably written by an exile in Babylon in the sixth Century BC. He is powerless over the surroundings and happenings in which he finds himself. He feels in danger of being swallowed, of being lost in a dark void. We traditionally associate his images with the experience of being in captivity in a foreign land. The experience of outer-world captivity by a foreign people is an apt metaphor for what we sometimes feel in relationship to our larger Self and all that goes on in our body-mind. We move through our days with our conscious sense of who we are, what our values are, and how we ideally respond. Then, we have an unexpected encounter with emotions, body sensations, thoughts, feelings, and impulses that seem foreign. We act in ways incongruent with who we think we are and who we want to be. Impulses and fantasies counter to our ego’s desires swell up inside us. Sometimes we keep our selves in relationship to them. Other times, we act out in ways hurtful to us and other people. Carl Jung says (and we all know) it takes tremendous moral effort not to act out unbidden affects (feelings characterized by body sensations) when they surge up from the unconscious. Most of us have been trained from childhood to repress or deny certain affects and psychic energies. Our destructive impulses as well as our sexual desires are the most common examples. Repressed emotions and impulses circulate in the body-mind until they gather enough energy to cross over the threshold into consciousness. They usually appear unexpectedly in relationship to another person. In a momentary encounter with an “other,” we experience the repressed, denied “other” in us. The previously repressed content can feel larger than life because it collected energy while unconscious. People sometimes describe such encounters by saying, “something got into me; something took me over.” Our first inclination when we have an experience of the unbidden foreigner within is to blame another. We think the other person is the problem. When we feel impulses, emotions, and sensations that we learned were bad, wrong, sinful, or even demonic, we reflexively want to purge ourselves of them. We export them by blaming, judging, or even demonizing the other person. Unfortunately, the internalized judgments about our affects and impulses generate shame and fear that keep us from developing the sense of self needed to relate to them in a life-giving way. We may feel like the psalmist. We may feel mired down, unable to see clearly what’s happening, and feel in danger of being swallowed. In these moments, the ego knows it is in danger of being swamped by the unconscious. Denying or repressing the previously unconscious emotion is not an option. We have to stay conscious, even though it means suffering, to call on God Within. The only defense we have against the unconscious is to build a conscious relationship to it. We do this by consciously cultivating the ego-Self axis and dialoguing with whatever energies arise within us. By relating to our affects, impulses, and fantasies consciously, we invite an integration of the energies into the whole of who we are. Once integrated, the previously threatening psychic content becomes fuel for life-giving action. Our call for integration is to the larger Self, God Within. The psalmist says it beautifully, “Answer me, O Lord, in the goodness of thy unfailing love, turn towards me in thy great affection. I am thy servant, do not hide thy face from me.” When we live in conscious relationship to the Self, we know our self/ego to be the servant of our larger Self. Inner Reflection Where are you in danger of being swallowed by an emotion, fantasy, or past experience? Where are you feeling mired down? Give yourself time, space, and loving focus to dialogue with the seeming “foreigner” energy. Hold onto your conscious experience even when feeling shamed, judged, or afraid. Ask God Within to strengthen you (rescue you) from being pulled into acting out or going unconscious.

Psalm 57, Living In Sync Verses 1b–2: “I will take refuge in the shadow of thy wings until the storms are past. I will call upon God Most High, on God who fulfils his purpose for me.” In the church community, people often talk about God’s call. The call may be to a vocation or to a simple action such as fixing a meal for a neighbor or an act of kindness for a friend. When we feel a “call,” we have a sense of connection to the Divine Within that prompts the movement or activity. The needed energy shows up. Our desires and our thought processes offer support to act. We trust what is unfolding is in line with God’s purpose for us. At these moments, we are consciously aware and aligned with our psyche/soul’s path. Psychologically, our psyche/soul has a gradient that our libido or life force will naturally follow. The gradient is set in motion by “God who fulfills his purpose for [us].” From the perspective of Analytical Psychology, the Self/God Within sets the order. Carl Jung suggested when we live in sync with the ordered flow of our psyche/soul, we are emotionally healthy. When energy gets blocked or distorted, we develop unhealthy patterns of interaction with ourselves and others. These patterns create illness and disease. Often, the “storms” we encounter are rooted in the energetic blocks in our psyche/soul and body-mind. Often, we lose the ability to think clearly, to see beyond surface emotions, to move freely from our heart and soul, or to even know what we feel or want. Emotional storms can hold us captive. We forget we are more than the momentary experience. In the moments of sickness and distress, whether physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual, the psalmist reminds us to seek the Divine Within. We need to call on the Inner Divine Spirit for refuge—a place of rest and recuperation—where we can gather ourselves. Seeking the Self/God Within reconnects us to the whole of who we are. It invites our self/ego to move away from a place of stuck, distorted patterns. We open to the opportunity to see the seed of the Divine within the storm and to see a new, more life-giving way of expressing that seed. For instance, we can be angry and discharge the energy by whining, complaining, yelling, or raging. Or, we can be angry and use the energy to make a change in how we behave—towards ourselves and/or towards others. In the former, we stay in the storm. In the latter, we seek refuge and free the flow of our libido to create life-supporting interactions. Inner Reflection What storms are you experiencing today? Consider each plane—the physical (body, home, finances); the emotional (overall mood, hurts, suffering); the mental (negative self talk, self-hatred, ruminations, obsessions); and the spiritual (malaise, apathy, inertia, pride). Seek the Inner Divine Spirit in each of these areas. Open to find the seed of the Self/God Within that needs to be freed to find an expression that is life giving and life sustaining.

Psalm 50, Tempest and Fire—The Divine’s Emerging Presence Verse 3: “Our God comes and will not be silent; a fire devours before him, and around him a tempest rages.” Years ago, I read an author who stated every encounter with God is a crisis event. The psalmist seems to affirm this view, painting God’s emerging presence in our lives as a raging storm and a consuming fire. When the Divine Presence makes itself known, the peace and calm we desire usually come secondary to the shake up and turmoil. We all have times when we want something different in our lives. We aren’t happy, we feel restless, we long for our heart’s desire, we feel an urge to move and grow. Yet, we stay stuck. We go unconscious—we numb out, we deny reality, we pretend. In these moments, it sometimes takes a whirlwind, thunderstorm, or fire to wake us up. The wake-up call may show up in our inner world first and then extend to the outer world of home, work, relationships, etc. Or the call may begin with an unexpected event in the outer world that brings distress and upset. In any event, our body sensations, feelings, thoughts, intuitions may whirl around uncontrollably. We may feel consumed/obsessed with an idea or a memory or a struggle. We may feel caught by an energy that we do not understand or know how to relate to. In these moments, Self/God Within is demanding our attention and action. We choose, consciously or by default, how we respond to the Self’s demand for our attention. We can feel punished by the Divine and act like a victim. We can hold on to the old sense of self and way of living, and resist moving forward. Or we can welcome the workings of Self/God Within and look into the turmoil to see where and how the Divine is speaking. We can consciously go with the transformative fire/spirit and let go of holding onto the false-self attitudes, behaviors, relationships, etc. We often forget that growth means change, and change means loss of the old to make room for the new. Nothing in natures stands still; we are either growing or dying. Death and destruction always precede birth and creation. Old ways and structures must go for the new to emerge. Our soul is always seeking to live more fully and beautifully through our egos and in our lives, propelling us towards greater Self expression with “raging tempests” and “fire” when necessary. As we begin to identify with the Self/God Within, we have the courage to withstand the storms and fires of change. Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to reflect on where you feel the Divine’s emerging presence in your life. What are the “tempests” and “fires” you are experiencing? Ask God Within to help you see and know the seeds of your Divine Self in these experiences. Welcome the destruction of all the attitudes, emotions, and behaviors not true to your Divine Essence. Have the courage to stand in the truth of who you really are.

Psalm 44, Live In Relationship To the Unconscious Verse 3: “It was not our fathers’ swords that won them the land, nor their arm that gave them the victory, but thy right hand and thy arm, and the light of thy presence; such was thy favor to them.” One of my favorite quotes from Carl Jung is “By building a conscious relationship to the unconscious, we can mitigate the negative effects of the unconscious.” His statement echoes the sentiment of the psalmist. The Mystery or Divine Essence known as God, or expressed as the unconscious aspect of psyche (Greek for soul), is the source of victory in our endeavors. We live in an era that promotes ego consciousness and control. We are told that if we affirm the right things, visualize what we want, and ignore the negatives and fears, we’ll have success. Another camp says, just do it! Somehow, brute will and force is supposed to bring what is desired. Although these positions contain kernels of truth, they leave out the reality that we are a living, non-static, spontaneous, evolving, constantly manifesting Divine Spirit in a body. The psalmist and Jung remind us that relating to the Inner Divine Spirit, theologically as God or symbolically through the unconscious, is the key to transmuting the negative of our personalities and lives. The unconscious is by definition that which is unknown. In Jung’s model of psyche, the collective unconscious is everything we inherit because we were born human. Instincts, innate knowing, and the energetic intelligences symbolized by the chakras are expressions of the collective unconscious. From the collective unconscious, we also are connected to the numinous (or spirit) energies known as archetypes. Archetypes are universal templates common to humanity in the feelings, behaviors, and perceptions that accompany them. For instance, worldwide, the archetypes of mother or inferiority or victim or trickster or magician or king evoke similar feeling-toned images and responses. The archetypes and instincts express as affects (feeling states) that take shape in patterns of behavior and response known as complexes. The complexes are the psychic structures that make up the personal unconscious, which is the aspect of the unconscious where automatic, learned responses emerge. It is the home of those expressions where we realize we are acting like our mother or father! Internalized ideals based on the outside world form here. To live in relationship to the unconscious is to open to the Divine as it expresses in our personality. Our feeling-toned responses and patterns of behavior with our self and others provide an opportunity to connect with the archetypal or numinous energies behind the responses or patterns. When we connect to the affect or feeling, we begin a relationship to the Divine Spirit as it is appearing. The relationship between ego/self and the Self/God Within includes acknowledging, listening and hearing, dialoguing, working with, and moving in concert with one another. This ongoing process begins by relating to our feeling states of consciousness. Strengthening the connection between our conscious self or ego and the unconscious or Inner Divine Spirit is the foundation for victory. Victory on the Kabbalistic Tree of Life refers to the emanation of God that expresses in our intellect. The rightful place of the intellect is to give form or image to the desires of our heart and soul. Images and thoughts disconnected from our heart and soul are problematic; those that express the desires of our Inner Divine Spirit bring victory in our endeavors. Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to consider your relationship to the Mystery. How do you honor the ongoing, fluid interfacing of your ego/self and Self/God Within throughout the day? How is your intellect serving your heart’s desires? What and where are you seeking? Invite an increased dialogue and exchange with your Self/God Within as you consider the next steps to take.

Revelation 22:12–21, Washing Your Robes Verse 14: “Happy are those who wash their robes clean! They will have the right to the tree of life and will enter by the gates of the city.” Symbolically, this verse gives instruction about our ego’s task in life. We are to cultivate discernment and act with clarity to create thoughts, feeling states, behavior patterns, and a surrounding environment that are the purest and clearest or cleanest reflection of our soul. The Tree of Life is a blueprint of the Divine energies that flow into the soul of humanity and the world at the moment of creation. On the Tree of Life, the Limitless Light of the Divine initially flows into the energies known as Wisdom and Understanding. Wisdom is called the “Inner Robe of Glory,” as it holds the kernel of Divine Essence in a principle or image we can conceive. Understanding is called the “Outer Robe of Concealment,” as it fleshes out the bit of Wisdom into a practical application or form we can grasp and apply. “Robe” is symbolic of the wisdom and understanding that lives within each of us. In Jungian analytic terms, we refer to the Divine Essence that contains Wisdom and Understanding as the Self. The Self is the organizing principle of The Self is the organizing principle of psyche and “a part of God that God put in us so that we will know that there is a God.” Every aspect of the personality, ego/self, body, and mind clothe a seed of the Self. What we see—our thoughts, emotions, feelings, intuitions, actions, habit patterns, automatic responses—are the “Outer Robe of Concealment.” They are the manifestations of the Limitless Light of the Divine. They embody and hold our unconscious and conscious understanding and application of the Wisdom of our Divine Essence. When we want to change our behavior or some aspect of our selves, we seek to understand it. We track its appearance and its course of action within us. We try to identify the energy that stirs a mood or affect that result in thoughts and feelings and behaviors. We search for the root or origin of what we want to change. When we find the root, we can, with discernment, see the kernel of wisdom within it. We can connect with the energy or essence of the Self/God Within hidden by the thoughts, emotions, or behaviors that are problematic. Through understanding, we access the “Inner Robe of Glory.” Often the “Outer Robe of Concealment,” our body-mind with its learned patterns and ways of living, distort the essence of the Divine Self. The forms—personality traits, character qualities, habit patterns, etc.—can hide the Self/God Within so well that we forget the truth of who we are on a soul level. We come to identify with what our ego knows and dismiss the larger Self. Today’s Scripture reminds us that we can use our ego/self to “wash our robes clean.” We have to seek to understand who and what we are; we can ask the Self/God Within for discernment regarding our ways. As we become clear about the wisdom that is present, even in the distortions, we can cultivate and open to new ways of being and living that embody the Divine Essence in our body-mind, all its expressions, and our environment. Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to consider the state of your “Outer Robe of Concealment”—your body, mind, personality and all its expressions. What are the ways that allow a clean expression of your heart and soul? What are the ways that distort and hide the Divine Essence within you? Ask the Self/God Within to give you discernment regarding the needed expressions, inner and outer, that will let you embody more clearly the truth of your soul.

Revelation 1:18, In and Out Of Hell Verse 18: “I am the first and the last, and I am the living one; I was dead and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.” What is Hades? In mythology, Hades represents the underworld, the realm of darkness, of death and rebirth. The concept of Hades was extended into the idea of hell. Collective thinking associates hell with death, wrong living, damnation, and misery. Instead of a theological exploration of what hell is or isn’t, I’d like for us to reflect on experiences we consider hellish. What are the states of consciousness, the situations, or body experiences where you have felt or currently feel trapped, lifeless, tormented or punished? Our experiences of “hell” usually involve feeling helpless, despondent, lethargic or chaotic, scattered, and crazy. Internally, these are places where bits of our Self are lost. We lose access to energies in these bits of Self when we deny, repress, dismiss, toss aside, or squash the emotions and body sensations that bring them to consciousness. We, with our egos, typically defend against the feelings that signal the descent into a loss of Self. Our ego alone cannot transform the hellish in our nature that causes us to feel dead. However, God Within knows how to take us in and out of the places where we lose connection to our Selves. When we consciously relate to God Within, our larger Self flows with the intelligence of who we are as a child of God. We can go in and out of our personal hells by following Jesus’ example. Church tradition says Jesus went into hell to minister to those who were there. To minister means to serve and to aid needs. The needs may be physical, emotional, mental, and/or spiritual. When I think of ministering to others on any plane, I see images of compassionate presence, which manifests in acceptance of and care for the other. The power of compassionate acceptance is undeniable. We know from research that part of what makes an event traumatic is the experience of bearing it alone. When another person is actively present in a caring way during the event or in the re-experiencing of an event emotionally, it makes a positive difference. We need each other to metabolize and integrate our experience. The outer experience of another being present to us activates our ability to be present with our self in a compassionate way. We move out of our personal hells by extending compassionate presence to all within us. Compassionate presence is the first step in ministering. To integrate the bits of self, which show up as emotions, sensations, images, impulses, and desires, we have to minister to our selves. Our active compassionate response to all that arises within us changes our experience in the present moment. We become more whole, more centered, and more grounded. We experience the energy of our psyche/soul where we have felt lifeless, helpless, and despairing. We can move out of our personal hells by following the energy of God Within instead of defending against our felt experiences. Inner Reflection Where is it easy for you to extend compassion to yourself? Where do you leave yourself in hell with self-condemnation and self-hatred? Take a few deep breaths and feel the connection to God that flows into you through your breath. Ask God Within to show you how to minister to all parts of yourself. Begin by compassionately greeting and relating to whatever shows up today.

Romans 10:8b–13, The Shift Verse 9: “If on your lips is the confession, ‘Jesus is Lord’, and in your heart the faith that God raised him from the dead then you will find salvation.” Carl Jung wrote an essay discussing the instinctive factors in us from the psychological standpoint. He named the five categories of instincts as hunger, sexuality, activity, reflection, and creativity. For Jung, the move towards activity, reflection, and creativity came after the satisfaction of hunger and sexuality. Considered symbolically as a picture of an inner process, this Scripture offers a guideline for such a shift within us. Much current pop psychology and spirituality claims the power of words and thoughts to create reality. This belief contains a seed of truth; however, the source of the creative power is often wrongly interpreted to be our ego or conscious self. This Scripture and Jung’s understanding of psyche/soul reminds us the source is the Christos/God Within that Jesus embodied and symbolizes. Deep transformation and growth in us occurs under the direction of our Self/God Within. Calling on this, making the “confession,” is essential in moving forward. “Salvation” is the theological term for a restoration of the ego/self with the Divine Self; it implies a state of wholeness. Jung used the term “individuation.” Often, we feel as if our wholeness is dead, non-existent. We do not believe in our heart that the Divine is present in us or can lead us to the satisfaction of our instincts. Our emotional hungers and our desire for Eros (relatedness) may keep us from moving, seeing, or creating from our soul. The truth of the embodied experience is that the Divine Essence in us is often thwarted because of our interactions with the outside world. We become adults who relate to ourselves, the Self/God Within, and others in ways that do not satisfy our instinctive needs. Yet, the Self/God Within calls us forward with our desires and longings. We keep struggling to find the way to express and satisfy our instincts. Inner Reflection As you struggle today, I invite you to reach to the Self/God Within and cultivate a belief in your heart that it can restore you to wholeness. Take a few minutes to identify the ideas, beliefs, and historical events that keep you from the expression and satisfaction of your hunger, sexuality, activity, reflection, and creativity. Consider these on all four planes—physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. “Confess” your need for the Inner Divine Spirit to guide and transform you to know and live from a more conscious connection between the ego/self and Self/God Within.

1 Samuel 1:4-20, Pour Out Your Soul Verses 15-17, “But Hannah answered, ‘No, my lord, I am a woman deeply troubled: I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation all this time.’ Then Eli answered, ‘Go in peace; the God of Israel grant the petition you have made to him.’” I have always been struck by the profoundness of a verse from Philippians, “Don’t worry about anything. Instead, make your requests known to God in prayer and petition with thanksgiving. Then, the peace of God which passeth all understanding will keep guard over your hearts and souls in Christ Jesus.” (The Living Bible) Today’s scripture story gives us an example of this in action. Hannah is worried. She feels anxious, alone, and despairing that she has no child. Her husband, Elkanah, is oblivious to her angst. Elkanah’s other wife, Peninnah (who has children) taunts her about her sterility. Hannah is not willing to accept her barrenness. She takes her anxiety and vexation to God. She pours out her soul in prayer. I can see Hannah talking to God as if talking to herself. In words and tears, she released her sadness, disappointment, bitterness, and longing. She was courageous in holding her desire in spite of past failures to conceive. She kept reaching for what her heart wanted. In our lives, we can experience disappointment, failure, and ridicule when our desires do not materialize. We may want to give birth to a new project, a new way of living, or new ways of relating to self and others, etc. These do not always manifest as quickly as we would like. We may begin to feel like a failure and stop trying. Hannah did not stop trying. She also realized that she alone could not accomplish her goal. She needed the blessing of God. Psychologically, this means that the ego alone cannot birth our heart’s desires. We must have the blessing of the larger Self, the totality of our psyche/soul. A blessing of the Self or God Within is a gift of psychic energy or libido. We receive energy that enlivens, animates, and sustains us. It focuses us to take action towards our heart’s desires. Following our breath is a practical way to begin to consciously feel where psychic energy lives in our body. The scriptures tell us that God breathed life into Adam (and breathes life into us). The breath that flows through us connects us to God Within. Here is the blessing that is the catalyst for new life to grow in, through, and around us. Hannah spoke up for herself when the Priest Eli misread her state of consciousness and actions. Someone in authority misunderstanding her intentions did not deter her. She used her voice to state her need, desire, and intention. She received the blessing she sought. Hannah gives us an example to follow. She models a way of dealing with our bitterness, disappointment, and being ridiculed by others. Instead of indulging these emotions, she holds to her heart’s longing. She asks God for help. She stands in her truth even when misunderstood by religious authority. We too have to use our voice in standing with our heart’s desires. We have to ask the larger Self or God Within for help. We have to stand with our desires and intentions even though parts of our selves may misunderstand and dismiss our longing. When we do this, we can receive the “peace which passeth all understanding” (regardless of whether we receive the specific we have requested). We experience the blessing of God Within. Inner Reflection Where are you feeling disappointed, bitter, or ridiculed? What is your heart longing for? Pour it all out to God Within by verbalizing it out loud (consciously to yourself) or in journaling. Breathe and listen for the voice of God Within to differentiate your true soul’s desires from those of ego and learned patterns. Ask and open to receive the blessings that come (even when not in the specific form you have requested). Trust the peace that comes from pouring out your soul to God Within.

1 Samuel 3:1–10, The Art Of Hearing Verse 10: “The Lord came and stood there, and called, ‘Samuel, Samuel’, as before. Samuel answered, ‘Speak; thy servant hears thee.’” ★ How wonderful to be awake! To hear, to feel, to know. I listen for the nuances of Spirit. She moves in the rhythms and paces of the day, Flowing through my body, She speaks to me in the cracks and crevices I am. The broken places are the openings. I step through them to find my Essence. ★ This scripture offers a picture of psychic or soul growth as we are called forward to new responsibilities and new roles in relationships. While the story of Samuel is about people relationships, we can consider each character as a type of energy within our psyche/soul. Samuel is the child-like self, open, curious, pure, and intentional. He represents the new seed of the Self that is moving to consciousness. Eli is the known, conscious attitude; he is the self we identify with and call our ego. Eli’s sons are shadow (unconscious) aspects of our selves, showing up as unbidden, rogue attitudes and feeling states that act in opposition to what our ego (Eli) says is right. Of course, the Lord manifests in the psychic structure of the Self. We all find ourselves, as Eli did with his sons, confronting energies acting of their own accord within us. These inner “sons” have always grown out of our attempts to live the fullness of who we are. Our ego mediates between the outer world and our inner world. The ego is the vehicle through which our larger Self/God Within expresses and lives in the physical, relational world. Sometimes, our attempts to be who we are, to grow in new ways, is misdirected by energies not connected consciously to our ego and/or Self. * Eli’s sons did not listen to him. They continued their destructive ways. Symbolically, Eli represents our ego when its authority and scope of influence over self is no longer effective. We can all call to mind frustrated attempts to change a feeling state, a thought process, or a behavior pattern. No matter how much we talked to our selves, or how hard we seemed to try, we remained in the same place! When this happens, a new way and a new sense of self are needed. The old us (ego/self) must relinquish power for a new sense of self/ego to be established. Fortunately, the Self/God Within works on our behalf to grow our consciousness and to strengthen our sense of self. (The individuation instinct is the innate mechanism through which the Divine works to pull us forward in our development.) When we pay attention, and we build a conscious relationship to the unconscious, we begin to experience and know this pull for conscious growth firsthand. We then trust the process of letting go and opening to a new way of being, a new sense of self. This happened for Eli as he coached Samuel to listen to the Divine and to share all that was said. Inner Reflection Where are you struggling with wayward “sons”—thoughts, feeling states, habits, behavior patterns—working against your stated desires and values? How have you given energy to these sons wittingly or unwittingly? Sit quietly, and listen for the voice of God Within. What is it saying? Where is the new potential in you? How does it want to express? Be courageous and open to the movement of the Divine in you. Set an intention and follow through on needed changes. Welcome the larger sense of self that comes as the ego/self lets go of control and authority and aligns with the Self/God Within. — *Think of something you have done in an effort to help yourself, only to later learn it has caused harm. Coping mechanisms such as overeating, excessive drinking, compulsive spending are examples. Ideas, beliefs, habits, response patterns that have become rote and calcified, that no longer allow creative libido to flow and manifest, are examples. Reflexive psychic defenses such as rigidity, confusion, lack of focus are also examples as they are primitive responses to stressors that overwhelm the ego/self. As Eli with his sons, we (our ego) have no power to influence these wayward “sons.” Fortunately, the Self/God Within) works on our behalf in these moments.

1 Samuel 17:(1–31)32–49, Slaying the Giants Verse 45a: “David answered, ‘You have come against me with sword and spear and dagger, but I have come against you in the name of the Lord of Hosts’…” Verses 48–50a: “When the Philistine began moving towards him again, David ran quickly to engage him. He put his hand into his bag, took out a stone, slung it, and struck the Philistine on the forehead…and he fell flat on his face on the ground. So David proved the victor with his sling and stone….” The story of David and Goliath is probably one of the most well-known Old Testament stories. It is easy to interpret Goliath symbolically as the things in our lives that feel too big to face. In our psyche, these things are usually first encountered as affective or feeling states. Gargantuan emotion seems to come from nowhere and feel as if it will destroy us. Our longings, desires, disappointments, hurts, and fears often fall into this realm. Our egos fear that owning the feeling states will destroy our lives—the well-known and long established relationships, alliances, etc. David’s response to Goliath is instructive about how to face our inner giants successfully. First, David had faith in God and his ability to defeat Goliath. He says, “The Lord who saved me from the lion and the bear will save me from this Philistine.” (Verse 37) David represents the ego that consciously knows the connection to the Self/God Within. This conscious knowing is born from past experiences where instinctive, reflexive body states have been connected to the larger Self. We have experiences of knowing we have more within us than the momentary feeling state. Second, David refuses the armor of King Saul. David symbolizes the ego that knows the heaviness of defense mechanisms that place barriers between our self and the Self/God Within and between the self and other people. These defense mechanisms are many. They often show up as “de-ex-ifying”—defending, explaining, and justifying. Defense mechanisms create states of confusion or “feeling at a loss” as they separate us from our embodied experience and knowing. Third, David “picked up his stick, chose five smooth stones from the brook and put them in a shepherd’s bag which served as his pouch.” (Verse 40) The stick represents the masculine energies or phallic power. The shepherd’s bag with the five stones represents the feminine power of embodied experience. The stick is a symbol of phallic power. We know our phallic power when we are motivated to move towards what we desire. Our life force propels us forward and we move. We often think of this as “willpower.” It is noteworthy that the Hebrew word for will also means delight. Our “willpower” is synonymous with our “delight power.” The shepherd’s bag with five stones symbolizes the body. Incarnation is about God coming into matter. The Spirit lives in and through our body and mind. We know the Self/God Within through our five senses (the five stones), yet we often reject our sensory information because it conflicts with what we think or have been told to feel. When we begin to receive our felt experience as information from the Inner Divine, we move towards the philosopher’s stone. The philosopher’s stone is the crystallized clarity and knowing of oneness between self and the Self/God Within. It comes through diligent awareness and intentional concentration to see the Self/God Within our felt, embodied experiences. As we seek knowing and clarity of our affective (feeling) states as extensions of the Self/God Within, we develop a conscious knowing of the inner spiritual senses. We find these referenced through common phrases such as “I smell a rat. I just know it in my gut. It feels off. I can see it in my mind’s eye.” With the inner senses we know the still, small voice of God Within, the Voice of Silence. With this knowing, we can face the “giants” within and “prove the victor.” Inner Reflection What giants within do you struggle with? Name the affects or feelings that accompany them. Identify the sensory information present in your body and ask what it is saying. Be courageous and take your “stick,” your desire/willpower, in hand and move. Act on what you know in your body and mind. Notice what armor/ego defenses appear and gently lay them aside.

2 Samuel 7:18–29, Taking Our Place Verse 18: “Then King David went into the presence of the Lord and took his place there and said, ‘What am I, Lord God, and what is my family, that thou hast brought me thus far?’” We all long for and need our place. A sense of love and belonging, which defines our place in relationships, is a basic need, according to Abraham Maslow. We experience our sense of self, who we are, in our feeling relationship to others—people, animals, environments, objects, etc. The titles we have, the labels we are given, and the roles we assume are means of defining our place in the outer world. They can help us relax and feel good about ourselves, or they can limit and thwart our wholeness. King David went “into the presence of the Lord” and talked about his future. He asked God “to make good on what thou hast promised” (verse 25) regarding his place in the world. This provides a beautiful picture of a conscious relationship between our ego and Self/God Within. King David’s going “into the presence of the Lord and (taking) his place there” is symbolic of our ego turning towards the Self/God Within. We often set off on daily pursuits and activities feeling as if we have to make things happen and do things by ourselves. We act all important and all powerful until we are reminded of our limitations and interdependency with others. What happens in these moments determines the felt experience we have! We can thrash about in our limitations or we can seek to connect with our larger Self that transcends any one thought, feeling, action, or moment in time and space. We can choose to stay unconscious of the Self/God Within, or we can consciously choose to call on the Self and ask for help. How do we know “our place” with the Self and others? Our place begins in our body and mind. The felt quality of our inner world will extend into our experiences with others. When we feel at home in our own skin, comfortable with our inner world of sensations, emotions, and intuitions, we are more likely to have this experience with others. If we encounter rejection and hatred in the outer world, we are more likely to keep our place—to still feel our value and worth in spite of feeling hurt and sad. In contrast, when our thoughts, feelings, and actions towards ourselves reject and “throw” out our felt inner experiences, we end up without a place. Our place of greatest struggle and unrest or greatest ease and contentment is within our self/ego with our Self/God Within. King David’s example of talking with God about his life and future shows us the way to move towards ease within ourselves. Once we have an alignment between our self/ego and Self/God Within, we can navigate whatever we need. Inner Reflection Take a few minutes to turn your attention and intention towards sensing, knowing, and dialoguing with the Self/God Within. Invite your energies to come home into your body-mind as you breathe deeply and slowly. Notice what feelings, thoughts, and memories arrive. Continue breathing and invite each to take their place within your psyche/soul. As you begin to feel the place you have within your body-mind, offer the concerns, desires, and gratitude you have at this moment to the Self. Listen for the, often wordless, response of God Within. Let your self consciousness and transcendent consciousness strengthen your place with yourself.

2 Samuel 14:1–20, 21–33, Listen To the Wise Woman Verse 1: “Joab son of Zeruiah saw that the king’s heart was set on Absalom, so he went to Tekoah and fetched a wise woman.” Knowing the importance of restoration between King David and his son Absalom as “the king’s heart was set on Absalom,” Joab devised a plan to help David open and invite Absalom’s return. Joab “fetched a wise woman” and sent her to the king with a story that helped David see the negative repercussions of Absalom’s exile. In response, David had Joab retrieve Absalom. If we consider this Scripture symbolically, we repeatedly see the negative consequences of not facing and dealing with the aspects of ourselves symbolized by the characters. Psychologically, we must welcome back parts of ourselves even if they have grieved us or caused us pain. Disowned or dissociated aspects of our selves are usually tied to desires, longings, emotions, and feelings that we judge as wrong or experience as repulsive. We deny these feelings or harbor them secretly in shame. The following events lead up to this Scripture passage: Amnon desired his half-sister Tamar. Instead of dealing with this desire openly and asking for her in marriage, he devised a plan to rape her. This plan led to his death by order of his half-brother and Tamar’s full-brother Absalom, who has then exiled. King David’s “heart was set on Absalom,” yet Absalom remained in exile because of the murder. Joab intervened to help David honor the desires of his heart and invite restoration. The energy symbolized by Joab lives within us. A part of our psyche acts on our behalf and sends a “wise woman” to help us see where we need reconnecting to our instincts, sensations, emotions, feelings, desires, thoughts, etc. The wise woman usually shows up as “a still small voice,” an intuition, a gut knowing. She may come in a dream that gives guidance. Sometimes, she appears in the synchronistic appearance of an animal or an unbidden exchange with someone. We, with our egos, are given a chance to see what we are doing and its consequences for us and others with a larger and more life-giving view. We are led to reunion with what our heart desires. Inner Reflection What do you desire that you fear facing openly? What or whom do you love that you cannot bear to move towards honorably? In what ways do you take what you want in secrecy and through manipulation? Take a few minutes to consider where the drama symbolized in the story is playing out inside you. Watch for and receive the “wise woman” who helps you reconnect with your heart’s desires.

Meditation coming soon...

Solomon 3:1–11, Build a Conscious Relationship Verses 5–6: “and after a little chastisement they will receive great blessings, because God has tested them and found them worthy to be his. Like gold in a crucible he put them to the proof, and found them acceptable like an offering burnt whole upon the altar.” Most of us think back to high school chemistry or math at the idea of “putting something to the proof.” In Medieval times, alchemy attempted to turn base metals into gold. This Scripture offers the alchemical image of heating gold to remove the impurities and prove the weight/worth of the gold. When we look at 10K gold, 14K gold, and 24K gold, side by side, we see the emerging brilliance that comes as the gold is heated to become more and more pure. Carl Jung viewed alchemy as a metaphor of the individuation process. Individuation refers to an innate drive that prompts us to live according to the guidance of our Self/God Within. Our inner guidance is often interrupted by ways of being and expressing that we learned and grew from previous experiences. Often, our suffering is a result of the conflict between the Self/God Within and the adaptive self/ego. We may experience the resulting difficulties and struggles as testing or chastisement from an outer God. In Webster’s Dictionary, the archaic meaning of chastise is “chasten.” Chasten is defined as: “1. to correct by punishment or suffering: discipline, purify; 2. to prune of excess, pretense, or falsity: refine.” As gold is purified through heating, so our ego/body-mind is refined as we choose to encounter all in our life as “a dealing of God with our souls.” Great philosophers throughout the ages have reminded us, “To thine own self be true.” We do not know who we truly are until we wrestle with the learned ways and the adaptive personas (roles) that thwart the free flow of our Self/God Within into our ego/body-mind. Seeking to know God Within is the way through all experiences that feel like chastisement, testing, or being put to the proof. A symbolic template of the energies of the Divine that went into the soul of man and the world soul at the time of Creation is the Tree of Life. On the Tree, the path that connects our automatic consciousness or vital (animal) soul with the Ruach or Divine Within is known as “The Intelligence of Trial and Probation.” It is said, “This is the first path whereby the Creator tries the adept (spiritual aspirant).” Our vital soul is the reflexive, instinctive responses. Part of any spiritual path, including individuation, is cultivation of a conscious connection between the instinctive, reflexive self and the Self/God Within. In the crucible of life, we struggle where the Self/God Within clashes with outer expectations or circumstances that the ego has adopted. We can choose to respond blindly from the reflexive, instinctive soul, or we can build a conscious relationship to the Self/God Within and follow its lead. Inner Reflection Where is the gold of your soul being purified? Where do you “feel the heat” in your body-mind at this time? See these situations as an opportunity for the purifying and refining of your body-mind to more beautifully hold and express your Inner Divine Spirit. Willingly allow the impurities of your self/ego to be “burned away.” Imagine stepping into the beauty you are, and living more fully your Inner Divine Self. Follow the energy and act accordingly!

1 Thessalonians 4:13–18, Raising Consciousness Verses 16–17: “For the Lord himself, with a cry of command, with the archangel’s call and with the sound of God’s trumpet, will descend from heaven, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up in the clouds together with them to meet the Lord in the air.” In many Christian traditions, this scripture is quoted in support of the rapture. The rapture is held to be the time of Christ’s physical return to earth when all who believe in him will be lifted to heaven. This includes those who have died. The dead will be resurrected and ascend to heaven first, and then the living will follow. When I was a little girl in a Southern Baptist church, I had many anxieties about the expected event. Contemporary folk songs of the time talked about two being taken and two being left. Those left were the unbelievers. I am thankful to have a different understanding of the scripture today. It is rich with symbolism of how our (self or ego) consciousness often follows previously unconscious aspects of the self to be united with God Within. God Within shows up when least expected. We usually sense something is happening because we experience an awakening. Something in us, unbidden by ego, stirs. Desires, impulses, and movements arise from deep within us. They have a power that captivates and mobilizes our thinking and feeling. We find ourselves carried towards a larger sense of self. We experience God Within more fully. Our ego consciousness is limited compared to the fullness of our larger Self. Our ego can think we have the truth. We do not always readily admit our lack of understanding and knowledge. We have learned to quickly dismiss body sensations, impulses, intuitions, and feelings that do not conform to “what we should believe or think or feel or do.” These are the dead within. The dead also includes the heart’s desires pushed aside by outer worldly demands. “God will bring with him those who died” (verse 14). The dead do not stay dead. The energies of our soul do not disappear forever. They may be temporarily dead to our ego consciousness, but they are alive in our larger Self. The larger Self, or point of connection with God Within, moves all aspects of our self. This includes the felt experiences of our body, mind, and soul. Nothing gets left behind. We have to be willing to follow God Within when our soul shows up. We cannot hold onto our current situation—inner or outer. We have to go up to heaven. Symbolically, this means we rise above our limited understanding to receive the bird’s eye view, that is, the larger view or the big picture. It contains more than the momentary consciousness we can hold with our self or ego consciousness. When we consciously follow the risen energies of our heart and soul, we move to the heavens with God Within. We know the aliveness that comes from the conscious union of all aspects of our self with God Within. We are able to live the fullness of our soul’s truth. Inner Reflection What is waking up in you? Feelings? Desires? Actions? How are you encountering God Within in these experiences? Where are you being pulled to follow your soul’s lead? However you feel led, make a commitment to yourself to go with the call of God Within.